Edging and edgeplay: two terms, one confusion

"Edging and edgeplay: two terms, one confusion" was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

In the world of BDSM there are countless terms and techniques that can cause confusion, especially when their names resemble each other. Edging and edgeplay are perfect examples. Although both involve seeking out limits, they differ considerably in meaning and application.

What is edging?

Edging, also known as orgasm control, is a technique in which someone is stimulated right up to just before the point of orgasm, after which the stimulation is stopped or reduced. This process can be repeated several times before the orgasm is finally allowed. The aim of edging is to build up sexual tension and make the eventual orgasm more intense. You can experience edging both solo and with a partner. And especially with the latter, it is of course even more exciting.

How can you edge best?

Edging seems simple - build up a little arousal, then stop - but in practice it takes attention, control and a good dose of attunement. The art lies not only in stopping in time, but also in recognising that one moment just before the point of no return. That is where the edge is. And that is precisely what makes it so exciting. If you want to edge someone well, you start slowly. Play with rhythm, build-up and sensory stimuli.

Just as your sub starts to lose themselves in the pleasure, you take the pressure away. A short pause. Shift the attention. And then build up again. Pay close attention to signals - breathing, muscle tension, sounds - so that you sense more and more precisely where that point lies. For some people it works well to communicate with a number on a scale of 1 to 10: at 8 you say it is almost there, and at 9 you stop. The more often you do it together, the less you will depend on the numbers.

And what if you edge solo? Then it is at least as important to get to know yourself well. Because the better you understand your own build-up, the more intensely you can practise control, or surrender to someone else.

What is edgeplay?

Edgeplay refers to BDSM practices that are considered riskier or more extreme. These activities lie at the edge of what is seen as safe and acceptable. Some examples of edgeplay are breathplay (restricting breathing), knife play (playing with knives), fire play (playing with fire) and/or playing without a safeword.

Edgeplay requires a high degree of trust, experience and good agreements between those involved. It is important that everyone is fully informed about the risks and that clear agreements are made to safeguard safety.

The confusion between edging and edgeplay

The confusion between edging and edgeplay often arises from the similarity in terminology. Both terms contain the word "edge", which means "rand" or "limit". However, while edging focuses on controlling sexual arousal and delaying orgasm, edgeplay is about exploring physical or psychological limits within BDSM practices.

It is important not to mix up these terms, especially because edgeplay can be considerably riskier and requires specific knowledge and preparation. You could also be in for quite a surprise if you think you are going to be edged by your Dom(me) and, at the crucial moment, it turns out that a knife is suddenly being used to draw a picture on your back. I would say: check, re-check, double check.

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text: Mistress Moriah
Image: 123rf.com