BDSM dictionary
This BDSM dictionary has been carefully compiled for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah, the authority on loving and safe BDSM / Femdom.
Is a BDSM dictionary really necessary? Well, necessary… maybe not really necessary, but it is extremely useful. Because if you wander around this scene a bit, you will notice that the expressions and terms will fly around your ears. Some meanings may be obvious, but that’s certainly not true for all terms. And then it turns out that a BDSM dictionary isn’t such an unnecessary luxury after all.
And to be honest, this is probably the most comprehensive BDSM dictionary you can find on the internet.
BDSM dictionary with clear explanations
In this BDSM dictionary, you will find short, powerful, and above all clear explanations of all the terms used in the world of BDSM. Whether you are a novice explorer or already familiar with the BDSM scene, the BDSM dictionary will help you to better understand meanings and connect even more deeply with this special world of experience.
In this BDSM dictionary, you will find explanations of dominance, submission, bondage, sadism, masochism, and countless other concepts that are essential to experiencing BDSM safely, consciously, and with complete abandon. Be inspired, learn the language of BDSM, and discover how a good understanding of words can enrich your BDSM experience.
And if, despite the enormous amount of information, there are still terms missing that could make this dictionary even more complete, you can always email them to mrsmoriah@bdsmforyou.nl.
0-9
24/7 means that the power dynamic between the Dominant and the submissive is not limited to individual sessions, but is a constant presence in daily life, based on mutual agreements, trust, and consent.
A
Anal douche
An anal douche is a device used to gently rinse the rectum with water for hygienic purposes, often in preparation for anal play.
B
BDSM logo
A BDSM logo typically refers to a visual symbol or design, often incorporating elements like the triskelion, used to represent BDSM identity, community, or philosophy.
Blowjob
A blowjob, also known as oral sex, refers to the stimulation of the penis using the mouth, lips, or tongue, often experienced as an intimate and sensory form of sexual activity.
Boundaries
Boundaries refer to the personal limits a person sets regarding what is acceptable physically, emotionally, and mentally, forming the foundation for safe and respectful interaction.
C
Castigation
Castigation, also referred to as spanking, is a BDSM activity involving the consensual striking of the buttocks to create physical sensations ranging from mild to intense, often combined with elements of discipline, control, or play.
Catheter
A catheter is a thin, flexible tube inserted into the body, typically used to drain or introduce fluids for medical or hygienic purposes.
CB
A CB or chastity belt is a device designed to restrict access to the genitals, often used to control or delay sexual stimulation as part of power dynamics or self-discipline.
Chain whip/chain flogger
A chain whip or chain flogger is an impact tool made of linked metal chains, designed to deliver a sharper, more intense sensation compared to traditional whips.
Chastity
Chastity refers to the deliberate restriction or control of sexual activity or stimulation, often practiced for personal, relational, or dynamic purposes.
Chastity belt
Chastity belt is a device worn around the waist and genitals to prevent sexual activity or stimulation. In BDSM it symbolizes control, denial, and the transfer of sexual authority to a Dominant.
Clips
Clothespins or clips are small gripping tools that can be used to apply pressure to the skin, creating sensations that range from mild to more intense depending on placement and tension.
Code word
A safeword, also known as a code word, is a pre-agreed word or signal used to communicate boundaries, slow down, or stop an activity immediately.
Comprehensive slave contract
A comprehensive slave contract is a detailed agreement outlining authority, duties, boundaries, consent, and expectations within a long-term BDSM Dominant–slave dynamic.
Corset
A corset is a structured garment designed to shape and support the torso, often emphasizing the waist and posture through lacing or boning.
Cuckold contract
A cuckold or TPE contract is a consensual agreement outlining the structure, boundaries, authority, and expectations within a cuckold or Total Power Exchange dynamic in BDSM.
D
Dominant
A Dominant is a person who takes a leading role in the power dynamic, guiding, directing, and holding responsibility for the interaction within mutually agreed boundaries.
Door restraints
Door restraints are a restraint system attached to a door, designed to secure wrists or ankles and limit movement while a person stands against the door.
E
F
Fetish
A fetish is a sexual or erotic focus on a specific object, material, body part, or situation that plays a central role in arousal or desire.
Findom
Findom (Financial Domination) is a BDSM dynamic in which a submissive voluntarily gives money or financial control to a Dominant. The power exchange and humiliation surrounding money form the core of the erotic power dynamic.
Findom contract
A Findom contract is a consensual agreement defining financial control, boundaries, and expectations between a Dominant and a submissive within a financial domination dynamic.
Foot fetish
A foot fetish is a sexual or erotic interest in feet, which can involve attraction to their appearance, touch, smell, or their role within power dynamics and intimate play.
G
Gag
A gag is a device placed in or over the mouth to limit speech or create specific sensations, often used to influence communication and experience.
H
Hogtie
Hogtie is a bondage position in BDSM in which a person’s wrists and ankles are bound together behind the back, often connecting hands and feet. This restricts movement and creates a physically vulnerable position, typically used in consensual restraint play.
Hooks
Hooks are metal tools used in body-focused play, typically inserted superficially into the skin to create tension, visual effect, or specific sensory experiences, requiring skill, hygiene, and consent.
Hormones
Hormones are chemical messengers in the body that regulate physical, emotional, and behavioral responses, playing an important role in arousal, stress, bonding, and overall well-being.
Human furniture
Human furniture refers to a consensual dynamic in which a person takes on the role of an object, such as a chair or table, often emphasizing stillness, service, and control.
Humiliation
Humiliation refers to consensual psychological play in which one person is deliberately placed in a submissive or degrading position, experienced as part of a power dynamic and often carefully negotiated beforehand.
Hypoxyphilia
Hypoxyphilia refers to the experience of arousal associated with reduced oxygen intake, often explored through breath-related restriction, and carries significant risks that require awareness and caution.
I
Infibulation
Infibulation refers to the act of closing or restricting access to the genitals, sometimes explored symbolically or physically within power dynamics to prevent sexual contact or stimulation, always within agreed boundaries and consent.
J
Judas chair
A Judas chair is a historical restraint device featuring a pointed or pyramidal seat, originally used as a method of torture and sometimes referenced in extreme or symbolic play contexts.
K
Key holder
A key holder is a person who holds the key to a chastity device, having control over access and release, often as part of a power dynamic based on trust and agreement.
Kinky
Kinky refers to sexual or intimate interests, behaviors, or preferences that fall outside what is considered conventional or mainstream.
Kneeling
Kneeling refers to the act of sitting on one’s knees, often experienced as a physical posture that can convey respect, submission, or attentiveness.
Knife play
Knife play refers to a form of sensation play involving the controlled use of knives on the skin, focusing on psychological tension, trust, and careful handling rather than causing injury.
L
Latex
Latex is a flexible, rubber-based material often used in clothing and accessories, known for its tight fit, smooth texture, and distinctive shiny appearance.
Latex bed
A vacuum bed, also known as a latex bed, is a device made of a sealed latex sheet from which air is removed, tightly enclosing the body to create intense pressure, immobilization, and heightened sensory awareness.
Leather
Leather refers to a durable material made from animal hide, often used in clothing and accessories, valued for its texture, strength, and distinctive appearance.
M
Mask
A mask is a covering worn over the face, often used to conceal identity, enhance a role or atmosphere, and influence perception or experience during play.
Masochism
Masochism is the experience of pleasure or satisfaction from receiving pain or intense sensations, often explored within consensual dynamics and with attention to boundaries and safety.
Masturbation
Masturbation is the act of stimulating one’s own genitals for sexual pleasure, often experienced as a natural and personal form of physical and emotional release.
Medical play
Medical play is a form of roleplay that involves medical themes, instruments, or scenarios, often focusing on control, examination, and sensory experiences within agreed boundaries.
Mistress Moriah
Mistress Moriah is the professional name of a Dutch Dominant, author, and educator known for her work in BDSM, focusing on safety, depth, and the emotional and psychological aspects of power dynamics.
N
Nails
Nails refer to the fingernails or toenails, which can be used to create varying sensations on the skin, ranging from gentle touch to sharper, more intense stimulation.
Needle play
Needle play is a form of body-focused play involving the careful insertion of sterile needles into the skin to create sensory experiences, visual effects, or ritual elements, always requiring knowledge, hygiene, and consent.
Neon wand
A neon wand is a sensation play device that uses high-frequency electrical currents to create tingling, snapping, or mildly shocking sensations on the skin, often used for both stimulation and controlled intensity play.
Nipple clamps
Nipple clamps are tools designed to apply adjustable pressure to the nipples, creating sensations that can range from mild stimulation to more intense, depending on the type and tension.
Nipple torture
Nipple torture refers to consensual play focused on the stimulation of the nipples, often involving varying levels of pressure, sensation, or intensity as part of a power dynamic.
Nose hook
A nose hook is a tool that is placed in the nostrils and connected to a strap or cord, often used to influence posture, restrict movement, or create specific physical and psychological sensations.
O
One Bar Prison
A one bar prison, also known as a spreader bar, is a restraint tool consisting of a rigid bar with attachment points used to keep limbs apart, limiting movement and creating controlled positioning.
Oral sex
A blowjob, also known as oral sex, refers to the stimulation of the penis using the mouth, lips, or tongue, often experienced as an intimate and sensory form of sexual activity.
Orgasm
An orgasm is an intense physical and emotional release characterized by rhythmic muscle contractions, heightened sensation, and a peak of sexual arousal.
P
Paddle
A paddle is a flat impact tool, often made of wood, leather, or plastic, used to deliver broad, firm strikes that create a deep, thudding sensation.
Pegging
Pegging is a consensual sexual practice in which a woman penetrates a man anally using a strap-on, often explored within both intimate and power-exchange dynamics.
Pillory
A pillory, also known as stocks, is a restraint device consisting of a wooden or metal frame with openings to secure the head and/or limbs, historically used for punishment and now sometimes incorporated into roleplay or restraint scenarios.
Play piercing
Play piercing is a form of body play in which needles are temporarily inserted into the skin for sensory experience, aesthetic effect, or ritual, always performed with care, knowledge, and consent.
Pony play
Pony play is a form of roleplay in which a person takes on the role of a pony or horse, often involving elements of training, control, and performance.
Poppers
Poppers are chemical substances, typically alkyl nitrites, that are inhaled for a short-lasting relaxing and euphoric effect, often influencing blood vessels and muscle relaxation.
Powerlessness
Powerlessness refers to the experience of having little or no control over a situation, often explored as a mental and emotional state within consensual dynamics.
Prick clothing
Prick clothing refers to garments designed with small internal spikes or textured elements that create continuous tactile stimulation on the skin when worn.
Primal play
Primal play refers to a form of interaction that focuses on instinctive, raw behavior and natural dynamics, often emphasizing physicality, emotion, and a connection to more animalistic or intuitive responses.
PVC
PVC (Polyvinyl Chloride) is a type of plastic commonly used in BDSM gear and clothing, valued for its glossy appearance, flexibility, and affordability, though it often contains plasticizers that require careful cleaning and maintenance.
Q
R
RACK
RACK stands for Risk-Aware Consensual Kink, a BDSM framework in which participants consciously acknowledge and accept the inherent risks of an activity, while ensuring informed, mutual consent.
Rape play
Rape play is a form of consensual roleplay in which participants explore scenarios involving simulated non-consent, based on clear prior agreement, boundaries, and mutual trust.
Rimming
Rimming refers to the act of orally stimulating the anus, often experienced as an intimate and sensory-focused form of stimulation.
Roleplay
Roleplay is a form of interactive play in which participants take on specific roles or scenarios to explore fantasies, dynamics, or situations in a creative and consensual way.
Rope
Rope refers to cord or line used for bondage, ranging from simple restraint to intricate tying techniques that combine physical restriction with aesthetic and emotional expression.
Rose ceremony
A rose ceremony is a symbolic ritual in which a Dominant offers a rose to a submissive as a sign of acceptance, commitment, or selection within a BDSM dynamic or relationship.
S
Sadism
Sadism is the experience of pleasure or satisfaction from giving pain or intense sensations, often explored within consensual dynamics and with attention to boundaries and safety.
Safeword
A safeword, also known as a code word, is a pre-agreed word or signal used to communicate boundaries, slow down, or stop an activity immediately.
Sensory clothing
Sensory clothing refers to garments designed with small internal spikes or textured elements that create continuous tactile stimulation on the skin when worn.
Sexual preference
Sexual preference refers to the pattern of attraction or interest a person experiences toward certain genders, characteristics, or types of intimacy.
Shibari
Shibari is a Japanese form of rope bondage that focuses on aesthetic patterns, connection, and the experience created through the art of tying.
Single tail
A single tail is a type of whip consisting of one long, flexible lash, known for delivering precise, sharp, and often intense sensations depending on skill and technique.
Scissor clamps
Scissor clamps are adjustable clamps that open and close using a scissor-like mechanism, allowing controlled pressure to be applied, often used for precise and gradual stimulation.
Slapper
A slapper is an impact tool, often made of leather or similar material, designed to deliver a sharp, flat strike that produces a stinging sensation.
Slave auction
A slave auction is a consensual roleplay scenario in which a person is symbolically “auctioned” to others, often used as a form of power play, performance, or entertainment within agreed boundaries.
Slave contract
A slave contract is a written agreement outlining the roles, boundaries, expectations, and consent between a Dominant and submissive within a BDSM dynamic.
Sling
A sling is a supportive seat or harness used during intimate or sensory play that allows a person to be comfortably suspended or positioned, enhancing accessibility, control, and physical endurance.
SM
SM stands for Sadomasochism, a dynamic in which giving and receiving pain or intense sensations is experienced as pleasurable, often within a consensual power exchange.
Soft BDSM
Soft BDSM refers to lighter, more accessible forms of BDSM that focus on mild sensations, playful power dynamics, and emotional connection, typically without intense pain or extreme practices.
Sounding
Sounding is a sexual or BDSM practice in which specially designed rods, called sounds, are gently inserted into the urethra. It is typically done for medical curiosity, erotic stimulation, or dominance and submission play, and requires careful hygiene and knowledge to perform safely.
Spanish fly
Spanish fly refers to a substance historically believed to act as an aphrodisiac, though it is unsafe and potentially toxic, and its use is strongly discouraged.
Spanking
Spanking, also referred to as castigation, is a BDSM activity involving the consensual striking of the buttocks to create physical sensations ranging from mild to intense, often combined with elements of discipline, control, or play.
Speculum
A speculum is a medical instrument used to gently open a body cavity, commonly used in gynecological exams, and sometimes incorporated in BDSM or medical play with a focus on visibility and controlled exposure.
Spreader Bar
A one bar prison, also known as a spreader bar, is a restraint tool consisting of a rigid bar with attachment points used to keep limbs apart, limiting movement and creating controlled positioning.
SSC
SSC stands for Safe, Sane, and Consensual, a guiding principle in BDSM emphasizing that activities should be conducted safely, with clear thinking, and with the full consent of all involved.
SSICK
SSICK stands for Safe, Sane, Informed, Consensual, and Kink, emphasizing that BDSM activities should be practiced with safety, clear awareness, full information, mutual consent, and respect for individual desires and boundaries.
Strap-on
A strap-on is a wearable device consisting of a harness and an attached dildo, used for penetrative play and often explored within both sexual and power-exchange dynamics.
Sub
A sub is a shorthand term for submissive, referring to a person who chooses to surrender control to a Dominant within mutually agreed boundaries.
Submissive
A submissive is a person who willingly gives up a degree of control to a Dominant, finding fulfillment in following, serving, or surrendering within agreed boundaries.
Subspace
Subspace is a mental and physical state in which a submissive may experience deep relaxation, reduced awareness of surroundings, and heightened sensory or emotional responses as a result of intense stimulation or power exchange.
Swinging
Swinging is a consensual lifestyle or practice in which couples or individuals engage in sexual activities with others, often within agreed boundaries and with a focus on openness, communication, and mutual consent.
Switch
A switch is a person who is comfortable taking on both dominant and submissive roles, depending on the context, partner, or dynamic.
T
Tickling
Tickling refers to the act of lightly touching or stimulating sensitive areas of the body to provoke laughter, reflexive reactions, or heightened sensory awareness
Tickling feather
Tickling feather is a soft feather used in sensual or BDSM play to gently stimulate the skin. It is often used for teasing, sensory play, or light forms of tickling that heighten anticipation and body awareness.
Toy cleaner
Toy cleaner is a specially formulated cleaning solution designed to hygienically clean and disinfect sex toys, ensuring they remain safe for repeated use without damaging the material.
TPE
Total Power Exchange (TPE) is a BDSM dynamic in which one person consensually gives full authority and control to another within agreed boundaries, often extending beyond individual scenes into daily life.
TPE contract
A cuckold or TPE contract is a consensual agreement outlining the structure, boundaries, authority, and expectations within a cuckold or Total Power Exchange dynamic in BDSM.
Trampling
Trampling is a practice in which one person walks or stands on another person’s body, often experienced as a combination of physical pressure, control, and power dynamics.
Trampling table
A trampling table is a furniture piece designed to support a person lying beneath it while another person stands or walks on the surface above, allowing controlled pressure play with added stability and safety.
U
V
Vacuum bed
A vacuum bed, also known as a latex bed, is a device made of a sealed latex sheet from which air is removed, tightly enclosing the body to create intense pressure, immobilization, and heightened sensory awareness.
Vacuum pump
A vacuum pump is a device that uses suction to increase blood flow to a specific body part, often used within sexual wellness for stimulation, sensitivity, and temporary enlargement.
Vanilla
Vanilla refers to sexual or relational behavior that does not involve BDSM or kink, often describing more conventional, mainstream expressions of intimacy.
Vibrating egg
A vibrating egg is a small, egg-shaped device that produces vibrations for internal or external stimulation, often used for discreet play and controlled arousal.
Vibrator
A vibrator is a device designed to create rhythmic vibrations for physical stimulation, commonly used to enhance arousal, relaxation, and sensory exploration.
Violet wand
A violet wand is a sensation play device that uses high-frequency electrical currents to create tingling, snapping, or mildly shocking sensations on the skin, often used for both stimulation and controlled intensity play.
W
Watersport
Watersports, refers to consensual activities involving urine, often experienced as part of power dynamics, humiliation play, or sensory exploration.
Wax play
Wax play is a form of sensation play in which melted wax is dripped onto the skin to create varying sensations depending on temperature, height, and type of wax used.
Wheel of Pain
A wheel of pain is a large rotating device used in some BDSM scenes where a bound participant is attached and turned slowly, creating restraint, helplessness, and physical challenge.
Whips
Whips are impact tools used to deliver controlled physical stimulation, ranging from light, stinging sensations to more intense strikes, depending on the type, technique, and intention.
X
Y
Z
Zipper
A zipper is a impact tool consisting of multiple clips attached to a cord or line, which are fastened to the skin and then pulled away in one motion to create a sharp, intense sensation.
Photography: 123rf.com
