What sexual orientations are there today?

“Which sexual orientations exist nowadays?” is written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

A few years ago, it all seemed quite simple. You were straight, gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Oh wait, and let’s not forget asexual. Nowadays, however, I see terms passing by that I have never heard of before. And honestly, I get the feeling that more and more sexual orientations are being added every day. Time to list them clearly, because to be honest, I can hardly see the forest for the trees anymore.

What exactly does sexual orientation mean?

That is, of course, an important question to answer first before we dive into the list. Sexual orientation is about who you feel sexually attracted to. In other words, who (or what) you would like to have sex or a relationship with.

There can be a difference between sexual attraction (sex) and romantic attraction (relational). Both can exist separately. Also an important note: it’s nearly impossible to remember everything, and that’s perfectly fine. Don’t feel ashamed if you don’t know exactly what androgynosexual or abrosexual means. You can always ask someone what they mean by it. Even the meanings of different terms can vary. So never hesitate to ask that one question: “What exactly do you mean by that?”

Which sexual orientations are there?

There are many more sexual orientations than listed below, but unfortunately, I couldn’t find clear definitions for all of them. Simply listing terms without meaning didn’t seem very useful. That’s why I’ve limited myself to the list below. Do you know another one (with meaning)? Feel free to email it to mrsmoriah@bdsmforyou.nl.

A-E

Abrosexual

Experiencing different levels of sexual or romantic attraction throughout your life.

Aceflux

Someone who fluctuates on the asexual spectrum.

Akoisexual

Also known as lithosexual. Sexual attraction to others without the desire for it to be reciprocated (preferably not).

Allosexual

Someone who experiences or has experienced sexual attraction (opposite of asexual).

Ambisexual

Another term for bisexual.

Androgynosexual

Sexual, romantic, and/or emotional attraction to people with both masculine and feminine traits.

Androsexual

Feeling physically/romantically attracted to those with more masculine traits (not necessarily biologically male).

Apothisexual

Aversion to sex.

Asexual

You have no sexual desires toward any form of sex.

Autosexual

Having a sexual preference for your own body over that of a partner.

Bicurious

You want to explore bisexuality or are open to it.

Bisexual

You feel physically/romantically attracted to both sexes.

Demisexual

Sexual attraction only to people with whom a romantic/emotional bond has already been formed.

F-N

Finsexual

You feel physically/romantically attracted to those with more feminine traits (not necessarily biologically female). See also gynosexual.

Fluid

A changing sexual identity; preferences are not fixed.

Fraysexual

Someone who initially feels sexual/romantic attraction, but this fades once an emotional bond develops.

Graysexual

Limited sexual attraction (a gray area within the sexuality spectrum).

Gynosexual

You feel physically/romantically attracted to those with more feminine traits (not necessarily biologically female). See also finsexual.

Heterosexual

You feel physically/romantically attracted to members of the opposite sex.

Homosexual

You feel physically/romantically attracted to members of the same sex.

Lesbian

You feel physically/romantically attracted to members of the same sex (woman/woman).

Lithosexual

Also known as akoisexual. Sexual attraction to others without wanting it to be reciprocated (preferably not).

Metrosexual

A man interested in personal grooming, fashion, and trends.

O-Z

Omnisexual

Attraction to others regardless of biological sex, while still being aware of the gender someone identifies with (similar to pansexual, but with a nuance).

Pansexual

Attraction to others regardless of biological sex. Gender identity or expression does not matter.

Penultisexual

Showing pride in your second-to-last sexual identity.

Platonic

A loving relationship without physical intimacy or desire.

Polysexual

A person who feels attracted to multiple forms of sexuality.

Queer

People who do not want to be placed into a single category regarding gender and sexuality.

Sapiosexual

Attraction to someone’s intellect.

Skoliosexual

Attraction to people who are not cisgender (CIS = same gender as assigned at birth).

Spectrasexual

Attraction to a wide range of genders and gender identities.

What is a cishet?

A “cishet” is a combination of the terms “cisgender” and “heterosexual.” It is used to describe people whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth (cisgender) and who are exclusively sexually and romantically attracted to people of the opposite sex (heterosexual). So, you have a cishet man and a cishet woman.

Fun facts

The term lesbian is derived from the name of the Greek island Lesbos, where the poet Sappho lived, who wrote about love between women. That’s why it is sometimes referred to as Sapphic love.

Mistress Moriah