Humiliation, an intense experience of mental pain

“Humiliation: An Intense Experience of Mental Pain” was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

Humiliation plays a significant role in BDSM, especially for Femdom slaves. Keep in mind, however, that it is not a given for all slaves. A masochist generally does not want to be humiliated and has absolutely no desire to kiss your shoes. For a masochist, it is primarily about the physical experience of pain, whereas humiliation is specifically about the experience of mental pain. It is, in other words, the other side of the coin.

Perception of Mental Pain

Mental pain can be experienced in various ways, for example through the things you say, but also by giving certain commands. Humiliation is a delicate matter, and it’s important that you’ve met each other frequently to be able to achieve a deep sense of humiliation. In this process, the goal isn’t simply to belittle the other person, as this benefits no one. The goal is to offer the sub a counterbalance to their normal life. In this play, it is crucial that the dominant partner remains mindful of their actions and boundaries.

As I sometimes jokingly say: “Anyone can swing a whip, but there is so much more to intense whipping play.” And this also applies to humiliation. Anyone can shout something like, “You good-for-nothing” or “You’re absolutely worthless,” but deeper humiliation requires a considerable amount of psychological knowledge, as well as a good understanding of the other person. It’s not a game you can just do off the cuff. Not if you really want to get inside the other person. It’s a combination of your voice, your posture, conviction, psychological knowledge, observation, and improvisation. It’s important to learn more about the slave - their background, insecurities, weaknesses, and shame. But also their fantasies, fetishes, taboos, you name it.

The Most Beautiful Games

Personally, I find it one of the most beautiful games within BDSM, but also the most sensitive because it hits you mentally right away. It requires precision, and what works well one day can completely miss the mark the next. That’s why it’s important to keep a close eye on the sub. Ultimately, you want to build something together, not tear it down.

Humiliation has many aspects and is entirely connected to the giver and the receiver. You can humiliate someone verbally, physically, but also sexually, for example by lending the sub out to others for sexual purposes.

Typical humiliating acts

When you’re going to humiliate someone for the first time (or if someone is going to be humiliated for the first time), it’s important to build it up slowly. It’s crucial that you trust each other and that a clear safe word has been agreed upon in advance

Finding the right form of humiliation is a journey. If you find it difficult to get started, here are a few general suggestions you could use as you search for the right path. Gradually, you’ll naturally find the right path that forms the blueprint for your relationship.

• Making him kiss your shoes/boots as a greeting or to show gratitude

• Making him sit on his knees (and crawl around), so he doesn’t rise above your hips

• Resting your feet on his back, so he is objectified

• Giving useless commands

• Laughing at him

• Talking about him as if he isn’t there

• Sticking fingers in his mouth

• Faceslapping

• Spitting on him

• Making him ask permission for everything

• Being fed

• Letting water run from your mouth into his

• Not allowing him to say anything

• Making him dirty with spit, mud, or other filthy things

• Using a gag that makes him drool

• Putting a bag over his head so he is objectified

• Making him wear a butt plug

• Make him wear wrist and ankle cuffs

• Reduce him to nothing; he is less than the dust under your shoe

• Just tie him to something

• Lock him in a crate

• Take a photo during an embarrassing situation and confront him with it

• Put a chastity belt on him

• Make him wear humiliating clothing

• Give him a dog tag / Make him wear a collar

• Treat him like a baby

• Give him a pacifier to gag him

• Spank him on the butt

• Use a strap-on on him (blowjob/pegging)

• Put a mask over his head

• Make him feel dirty/gross (put on gloves yourself)

• Make him ask permission for an orgasm

• Make him lick your toes

• Order his food for him at a restaurant

• Call him names like “slut, nobody, piss stain, chubby, barnacle” etc.

• Use him like a little dog

• Make him completely subservient

• Give him a golden shower

• Use him like a piece of furniture

• Use him like an ashtray

• Make him address you only as Mistress or Ma’am (or whatever you prefer)

• Make him speak about himself in the third person (“Piss-stain went to… yesterday”)

• Force him to masturbate (make fun of his little dick)

• Put a blindfold on him

• Use him as a toilet slave

• Give him a pig mask

• Make him fuck a blow-up doll

Source

Text: Mistress Moriah
Image: 123rf.com