BDSM in de/jouw praktijk

"BDSM in de/jouw praktijk" was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

While searching for interesting books about BDSM, I came across the book “BDSM in de/jouw praktijk” (“BDSM in the/your practice”). It is a book aimed mainly at the professional help that people with a BDSM preference can receive in practice, from professionals who know too little about the subject to handle it well. Think of educationalists, therapists, sexologists, social workers, et cetera. With his book, the author tries to create more understanding among these professionals. A wonderful aim, which I can only support.

Open-minded

When I start reading, I notice that it is an open-minded book, and I get the feeling that the author has a soft spot for BDSM. It feels like a warm bath and recognition of this orientation. I find many points in common in the way of looking at things, and I feel absolutely heard by the author. This is how I see it myself too, and I would like it if professional care providers looked at it this way as well. In this book, I feel heard and seen as a BDSM practitioner.

Unknown, unloved

Unknown, unloved. That applies to many things, but to BDSM in particular. Especially because nothing is what it seems. If you look beneath the surface, you will discover a loving world. But you have to want to see it and be able to see it. Know how you could look at something.
The somewhat dry, scientific information is interspersed with beautiful quotes from practitioners, who give you a small glimpse into their intimate lives.

The taboo

The book goes deeper into the taboo that BDSM still finds itself in and what the reason for this might be. It is incomprehensible that something experienced by such a large group still carries an atmosphere of shame. The book cites a study by the dating site C-date, which in 2012 surveyed 41,184 people in ten European countries (and Brazil) about their experience with sadomasochism. This study showed that 58 per cent had experimented with SM at some point. More than half! So you are no longer talking about exceptions. In Belgium it was even slightly higher, at 59.4 per cent of the 1,260 people surveyed.

So it is high time to get BDSM out of the shadows and show the loving and special side of it to "the general public".

Experimental

Of course, a large part of this group consists of curious people and experimental discoveries, and not everyone will be prepared to go equally far, but that isn't necessary, is it? Wearing a blindfold and being tied to the bed is also a form of BDSM. Whips or (seemingly) "extreme" things don't always have to come into it. Think, for example, of mental pain (humiliation), which doesn't require a whip at all. It can, but it is certainly not necessary.

If so many people are experimenting with it, 22% say they fantasise about it and 12.5% say they even practise it regularly, then I am once again genuinely surprised that there isn't much more solid literature to be found, and why in 2020 it is still necessary to increase social acceptance. Shouldn't that have happened long ago?

Healthy BDSM

The book pays attention, among other things, to a healthy way of experiencing BDSM and the difference with, for example, abuse and maltreatment. The concept of R5V is discussed, for instance. This abbreviation stands for Respect, Trust, Voluntariness, Safety and Responsibility (in Dutch: Respect, Vertrouwen, Vrijwilligheid, Veiligheid and Verantwoordelijkheid). Within the BDSM scene, other abbreviations are also used, such as RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink), SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) and the 3 V's (Veilig, Verstandig, Vrijwillig: Safe, Sensible, Voluntary) to indicate that there is a difference between BDSM and abuse or assault. Failing to observe these rules can also have legal consequences and can be penalised quite heavily. It may be worth pointing out that Belgian and Dutch law differ in terms of the acceptance of BDSM.

Conclusion

This book is full of concrete tips, background information, conclusions from scientific research, experiences and advice that give professionals tools and more insight into the wonderful world of BDSM. Personally, I am really happy with this book, because it gives insight into my way of experiencing things, in an objective way. I would recommend every professional to read this book, not only for their clients, but also for themselves. The book gives you a glimpse into a beautiful, special and above all wondrous world of a large group of people, many of whom don't dare to come out about it. That very group could so use your loving acceptance of their whole being.

Book specifications

Title

BDSM in de/jouw praktijk

Author

S. Sebastianus

Publisher

Maklu

ISBN

9789044137101

Number of pages

216

Price

22.00 euros

Available online at

Bol.com

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text: Mrs Moriah
Photography: BDSMforyou