Crash Course "Humiliation for Dummies"

“Crash Course "Humiliation for Dummies"“ was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

Within BDSM, humiliation is probably the trickiest branch of the sport. At least, if you want to take it seriously. Laughing at someone for his tiny dick is not humiliation to me, any more than holding your fingers in the shape of an L (for Loser) is. At most it's a worn-out concept that still gets copied a lot. I'm not saying it can't be exciting for some receivers (after all, you are more or less attacking their masculinity), but real humiliation goes much deeper and further. You crawl under the other person's skin, a purely psychological game.

Handy tips & tricks

Practical techniques such as whipping, CBT or other physical torments can be learned. You book a workshop, get told where you can and can't, and what you can and can't do. With a bit of luck there's a professional practice sub (a POS, a kind of LOTUS for BDSM) present, who can tell you how something feels on his end, and you go home afterwards with a head full of handy tips & tricks.

At home you can get straight to work putting all that wisdom into practice. Piece of cake. With humiliation, however, this doesn't quite hold true... because humiliation is a delicate matter and differs from person to person. It's not a one-size-fits-all experience that you can learn by heart, like a party trick.

It's not interchangeable one-to-one. Of course, in a workshop you can be shown how to build up the experience, but both the impact and the execution will differ from person to person. That's why I always say that real humiliation is never possible in a first encounter. If you don't know someone well yet, humiliation always stays a bit superficial.

Aaaah, how sad

But there's something else. When I give my sub beautiful welts at a party, with a bullwhip that is longer than long, most onlookers watch the spectacle with a touch of wonder and with respect for him, for everything he can take. With humiliation, though, something different is touched in the average onlooker. Along the lines of: "Aaaah, how sad".

If I were to treat my sub in public the way I humiliate him in the safety of our home, I'm sure many people would think I was a nasty bitch and feel deeply sorry for my sub. Yet when I tear my sub down and flatten him like that, I'm actually giving him my most beautiful love... In that moment I see him in his entirety.

In his little plastic panties

The same goes for his outfit. If I take my sub to a party as, for example, a "hellhound" with tough leather accessories and tough boots on his feet, people react to him completely differently than if I took him along in his torn little plastic panties, a bin bag around his body and a mask that nobody would want to be seen in.

He is still the same person, but people react to him in a completely different way. In fact, in that last outfit he's mostly ignored entirely. Which is fine for his experience, but also a little strange. People apparently find it harder to watch mental suffering than physical hardship.

Tips & tricks

Does your partner also love humiliation, and do you have no idea how to go about it? Then here are a few evergreens you can try. You'll notice that one has much more impact than another. This is personal, so just try things out and discover what works for you, and of course for your partner too. In the end you'll discover the approach that works best for the two of you.

It goes without saying that these are only a handful of possibilities from the enormous pool of humiliating options.

1. Forced crossdressing

Order him to wear women's clothing. This can be lingerie, but also a wig, high heels, a dress, a pair of panties or beautiful red lips, for example.

2. Chastity checks

For some people, chastity checks are also experienced as humiliating. After all, he depends on you for whether he can and may do certain things. You can extend the chastity check with toys that you can make vibrate remotely. And of course you have the remote control in your pocket.

3. Choosing his clothes

Choose the outfit he has to wear. The sillier the better, sometimes. Funny little panties, stupid masks, hideous sets, daft masks, the crazier the better. But of course don't turn it into a huge freak show, because then you'll miss the mark again. Often "less is more" applies.

4. Humiliating words

Write humiliating words all over his body. He's then constantly confronted with his place. Something that can also intensify it: make a wet patch in his trousers, right at his crotch. How pathetic that looks!

5. Where is his place?

That's his place, as low as possible. Crawling is actually already too high for him. He belongs among the insects on the ground. He certainly may not rise above your knee. That is also where his food goes, on the floor. At your feet.

Is it bedtime? Then he can get a little mat on the floor next to the bed. At most a thin mattress with a blanket over it.

6. Tasks

Have him carry out various tasks that benefit you. Let him do the shopping, cook, clean, massage your feet, et cetera...

7. Wash his mouth out with...

soap! An old method for when children used to be naughty or said bad words. Absolutely a humiliating act. And disgusting.

8. Out and about

Take him outside. Of course the cuffs and collar stay on. Naturally he can wear a coat over them, but he knows they're there. Order for him in a restaurant, you decide what he may eat or drink. Maybe he has to pop to the toilet in between to put a dildo in his arse, or you press the remote control again just as the waiter is standing at your table.

Of course, when you're out, you make him pay for everything.

Make him try on a sexy babydoll in a lingerie shop. And pick out a (new) collar at the pet shop.

9. Are you creative?

If you're a bit crafty, make a cast of his cock, and penetrate him with his own cock.

10. Worship

Have him kiss your feet before you even get up. During the day he can worship your boots, the ground you walk on or the chair you've sat on.

11. Nicknames

Use humiliating nicknames, such as: slut, bitch, whore, nobody, bungler, pig, hideous creature, piss stain, et cetera.

12. Teach him the slave positions

Teach him the various slave positions, until it's enough to just say "7" to him, or "3".

13. Incontinence

Put a nappy on him and forbid him from going to the toilet. If he needs to pee, he can do it in his nappy. Of course you can also choose to make him simply do it in his trousers (and then clean it up!).

14. Crumbs

Give him your crumbs, he's not worth more. He's good enough for your leftovers. No dish of his own for him. Besides, he's simply your rubbish bin. He eats on his knees, of course, without using his hands. So only with his mouth.

15. Piece of furniture

Use him as a piece of furniture. That can be a table, a footstool or, if need be, a standard lamp.

16. Acts

Certain acts, such as face slapping or spitting on someone, can also be experienced as humiliating.

17. Fantasies

Have your sub describe a fantasy. That way you can find out roughly where his humiliation lies. It can be a handy guide for you, especially if you don't know each other that well yet.

18. Choices

You can also make a list of humiliations that you yourself enjoy carrying out. Let him pick ten of them, from which you then make a choice in turn.

19. Ignoring

Ignoring can be experienced as humiliating, but be careful, because it can also be a tough punishment. How it's received therefore depends somewhat on the sub.

20. Writing lines

Writing lines can be used as a punishment, but it's also absolutely humiliating.

21. Pegging

This one is a bit double-edged, because there are plenty of sluts who enjoy it enormously, but it's still often experienced as humiliating to be "taken from behind by a woman".

22. Squirting and...

Squirting becomes a lot less appealing when he's given the prospect that everything that comes out also has to be licked up neatly afterwards.

23. Drooling

Force him to drool by putting a gag on him. And of course point this out, punish and/or correct it.

24. Ruined orgasm

It may take a little practice, but a ruined orgasm is not only humiliating but also enormously frustrating (and therefore so much fun).

25. Restriction

Restrict his mobility. This can be done in all kinds of ways. Cuffs, rope, spreader bar, hobble, et cetera.

26. Little bells

Hang a little bell on him while he cleans. Correct him if you don't hear a bell (because then he isn't moving enough).

Additions

Would you like to add more humiliations to this list? Feel free to send your inspiring humiliating acts or remarks to mrsmoriah@bdsmforyou.nl, mentioning: "Humiliations for the crash course Humiliation for Dummies".

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text & photography: Mistress Moriah