What exactly is a ruined orgasm?

“What exactly is a ruined orgasm?” was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

On my way home, in the car, my phone rings. On the screen I see the name of a Mistress friend of mine. I answer, because sub is driving, so my hands are free. Soon I hear her voice in my ear asking: “Moriah, can you tell me something about a ruined orgasm?”

Of course I can. However, I am almost at my destination, so I can't give her more than a few fleeting hints. But I also realise that I can't refer her to an informative blog on this site. Because with a slight blush on my cheeks I realise that I have never written a single word about it here. And I can imagine that more people have questions about this. So what exactly is a ruined orgasm? What makes it fun? And how do you pull it off?

What is a ruined orgasm?

A ruined orgasm, or spoiled orgasm, is a term used in a sexual context, where someone is just about to reach a climax (orgasm), but the experience is deliberately interrupted or disrupted. The idea is that the person can feel the physical sensation of an orgasm, but that it is not complete or satisfying, often because the stimulation is reduced or stopped just before or during the climax.

It sounds really annoying, but reality can sometimes be a little different. Some people find it incredibly arousing as part of control or a power play in a consensual sexual dynamic, while others may experience it as frustrating or unsatisfying.

The difference between a ruined orgasm and edging

A ruined orgasm is primarily about a spoiled orgasm, also known as a dry shot. Edging is about delaying an orgasm for as long as possible. That is a fundamental difference, because the goal of edging is precisely to experience an orgasm that is as intense as possible.

How do you achieve this?

There are several ways. For example, by bringing someone almost to a climax and stopping in time. The sub does feel the muscle contractions (perhaps even an ejaculation), but not the pleasure of the climax. It is important, however, that you can read the sub well and judge the "moment suprême" properly.

Of course there are other ways too. Distraction, for example. If you completely distract the sub just before the climax, the body keeps responding but the sensation is not experienced optimally.

You can also use different stimuli, such as pain, humiliation, anger and frustration.

The ruined orgasm: a sub's experience

As luck would have it, a few days after her question, but fortunately before I started writing this blog, I heard a sub talking about this. Lovely! Because what is more informative than hearing the experience first-hand, from the receiving end? So I asked him to tell me about his experience. And he did so at length. Our short interview follows:

What do you enjoy about a ruined orgasm?

"For me, it is a way of not immediately plunging into the abyss after I have enjoyed a second of pleasure following a full orgasm. Let's say you only drop one step in horniness but still remain close to the top. In a way I find that much more pleasant, because it allows me to be present again fairly quickly. In my experience it is edging 2.0. The frustration can be made much greater this way. Let's say you lose your seed but not the horniness. The craving for a complete release is essentially made impossible, because there is no seed left."

How do you pull off a ruined orgasm?

"How to pull it off is tricky, because the trick is to touch the point of no return so that wasting the seed can't be stopped, while giving just too little stimulation to get the orgasmic feeling. For me there are various ways that work."

"One way is, for example, to be made to jerk off under supervision and then be given permission so late that it gets ruined. It can also work for me with pain (an elastrator band around my balls and cock, kali teeth on my cock and one on my balls)."

"The most important thing needed, I think, is trust in each other and real depth, so that from there you learn to read each other in such a way that hitting the point of no return spot-on becomes easier and easier to find.
An attitude that nothing is impossible is a bonus too. I once tested with someone whether it was possible to bring on an ejaculation in myself while I was in chastity, blindfolded, wearing headphones and tied to a table, with her voice as the only stimulation."

"Vibrating eggs can also work, so that the realisation of having released only comes through half an hour too late, and so at that moment I am begging for a climax while it was already ruined half an hour earlier."

What is so much fun about it?

"It will be different for everyone, but for me it is wonderful and I 'would hardly want it any other way'. I feel like a child in a playground. It is also enjoyable for the play partner as far as I understand, because the play can be prolonged and I become even more compliant. Moreover, it is also a way of creating a form of physical chastity without a torture device; because empty is empty."

"An additional aspect that increases my pleasure is the following. My age and my erections are not always a good match these days. It is humiliating to hear the peals of laughter at the moment I mess it up, and yet it makes me super proud to be able to give the domina so much pleasure. That way I embrace and welcome the erection sometimes failing, because I know the domina will then have even more fun and it heightens the contrast. She gets her climax (orally), I mess up, because her climax is allowed to be my climax."

Source

Text: Mistress Moriah
Photo: 123rf.com