BDSM is more than…

“BDSM is more than…” was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

BDSM is more than just whipping. We can all wave a whip around a bit. Hitting the mark, however, might be a bit of a challenge. Recently at a party, I was asked if I could help someone learn to hit the mark. She found it strange that she missed so often. Once I realized how many glasses of wine had been consumed, I didn’t find it so strange anymore. Poor sub.

BDSM and alcohol are not a good combination! I’m not saying I never drink before getting down to business with my sub; sometimes I have a glass to get in the mood. However, when I want to explore boundaries (edgeplay) and walk the line, I’m completely sober. That’s when I need my full awareness and concentration. I love to torment my sub and enjoy his moans and groans. But I don’t want to hurt or maim him.

BDSM isn’t about the welts

BDSM isn’t about the whip or the welts. My sub shouldn’t do things for me out of fear, but rather out of love or, if necessary, adoration. I torment him because I enjoy it; I play mind-fuck games because I enjoy them; and I’m in control because I was simply born dominant. My sub isn’t a masochist; he doesn’t enjoy pain, but he does enjoy seeing me enjoy myself. So he offers me his body for my pleasure.

This isn’t about the pain, but about the pleasure and the ultimate acceptance of each other in our complete being. That can also happen in very different ways. Sometimes BDSM is hidden in small requests. Like yesterday morning, when I asked him with my sweetest smile as he was leaving for work if he would pick a bouquet of flowers for me today. Yes, in the rain. He hesitated for a moment: “Yeah, but…,” but I brushed all the “buts” aside and simply said: “I don’t care about ‘buts.’ I’m looking forward to your bouquet of flowers. Drive safely, my love, and see you tonight.”

Will you put them in a vase for me?

And yes, he came home in the afternoon with a bouquet of freshly picked flowers. I could see in his eyes that he was actually quite proud of it. And so was I. So I gave him a compliment and a gentle kiss, but not without the following words…

“Will you put them in a vase for me, sweetheart?” “Yeah, but…” “No ‘yeah, but’ – just do it now. Thank you.”

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Text & image: Mistress Moriah