No escape from the little birdcage

“No escape from the little birdcage” was written for BDSMforyou.nl by sub Jetje, private sub of Mistress Moriah.

‘Birdcage’. That is the pet name my wife has given to ‘my’ CB. The word ‘my’ is in quotation marks. Because however beautiful the CB is, there is nothing of me in it. Not the CB itself, not the little lock or the keys, and certainly not the 'contents'. But what happens to me, physically but above all mentally, when I wear the CB, day in, day out? How did I come to wear it? Is it easy to keep up? What do you feel and what goes through your mind during the day? And is it pitiful for a sub? A look inside the head of the sub.

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The surprise

It is now well over half a year since my D, after we had once again shared an unforgettable experience, suddenly put a little box on the bondage bench and remarked: ‘This is for you, I want you to put it on in a moment and wear it’. ‘No, no!' shot straight through my head, because it could only be one thing: a CB. We had talked about it in passing now and then, but usually I found a way to quickly steer the conversation elsewhere, hoping my D would forget about this subject once and for all. Apparently not. Now the little box lay there, yearning to be opened.

When I had come back to my senses and opened the box, I saw a silicone CB made up of all kinds of parts: luckily her sub Schlemieltje was kind enough to help me put the CB together and, before I knew it, it was around my cock, which reacted immediately, good grief! I will never forget the smile on my D's face; she probably thought: ‘There, the first step has been taken, exactly the way I want it’.

All beginnings are hard

I had no idea beforehand what actually wearing a CB would do to me: I had a suspicion (or rather a secret wish) of what it would be like, but here too practice and theory differ quite a bit. During the day, with enough distraction, wearing it went fine; at night, my little friend would often spring to life for a moment and fight his way out. Miraculously he usually succeeded, with the result that at night I had to ‘dismantle’ the CB again and then put it back together.

Step by step it got better and better and I got used to wearing the silicone CB continuously; however, the problem of the Houdini act my cock regularly performed at night kept plaguing me. I didn't manage to ‘tame’ my little friend, and when I reported this to my D once again, she knew what to do: it was high time for an adequate solution.

One step further

‘I want you to order this sturdy CB’. I look at the picture and see an impressive, solid metal CB, complete with a little lock. Gulp..... But well, she is my D, so I take action immediately, with the result that the CB is delivered within a few days. Of course I have to put the CB on in Her presence, after which She triumphantly fits the little lock: ‘There, that's in place. And one more thing: every time you want to take the CB off, you ask me for permission, is that clear’? Without hesitation I answer ‘Yes, Madam’. Deep in my heart I can and want nothing else.

Three months later

At first I had to get used to the new cage: when aroused it did exactly what it was supposed to do, namely make sure everything returned to ‘sleep mode’ as quickly as possible. Yes, that is easier said than done. And yet, it got better and better: now and then a bit of skin got pinched and I would text my D to ask whether it could come off for a moment: for a short while my little and faithful friend could then enjoy his freedom. I did notice that he is mostly a small, pitiful ‘little friend’ when he comes out of the CB: it seems as if he shrinks.

Hmmm, I really must talk to my D about that, because that surely can't be the intention (or maybe it is??). I now wear the CB 24/7, actually without problems. Asking for permission (e.g. for a ‘scrub’ as my D calls it) still applies and I do so very faithfully. Cycling with the CB goes well, although it took a lot of getting used to at first; for sports it is allowed off, sweet, isn't it?

Pitiful or not?

Is (having to) wear a CB pitiful for a sub or not? Personally I don't experience it that way; I see it more as an expression of a beautiful bond with my D; it helps me keep my focus on Her. Do I never feel 'sorry' for myself about missing an erection or being able to touch everything down there? No, not really: what I get in return is much, much more beautiful and valuable than the fleeting pleasure of sexual arousal.

Besides, I trust my D completely: shortly after I got to know Her, I had to write the following rule: 'She decides what is good for me, not I, because She knows me better than I know myself'. So for me there is no discussion about pitiful or not: I need clarity, discipline and rules, and She gives me those. Always and everywhere.

Mentally

Did I have a wish to wear a CB for my D? Yes. Did I suggest or ask this of Her? No. We both knew, without having talked about it, that a moment would come when She wanted me to wear it, for Her. And we both knew I would do so without protest. And so it came to pass. How long I have to wear the CB, only my D knows: for me the answer to this question is not important. Perhaps a few weeks, perhaps a few months, perhaps much longer.... There is only one person in this world who knows, and that is my D.

Before I put on the 1^st CB, I consciously thought about it: what it would do to me, what I would feel, what it would bring me, etc. I wrote about this extensively in ‘My Little Book’, a logbook that my D regularly reads with great interest. And what turns out? I know myself quite well, because everything I described back then has come true. And much more.

Calm and control

It is well known that (most) men regularly experience ‘some’ arousal, and I am no exception to that rule. The CB helps me (out of necessity and sometimes painfully) to keep calm about my cock, so that it doesn't start living a life of its own at random moments, both during the day and at night. I notice this calm in my head and feel it throughout my body: it is a kind of serene calm comparable to ‘coming home’, you know, that warm and lovely feeling where you can and may be completely yourself. You don't have to do anything, and certainly not prove that you are that tough man with a hard cock: the strength lies in the calm.

Surrender

From the moment the first CB was locked, I felt it in every fibre: through that symbolic act I surrendered myself and let myself be guided by my D. That sounds more dramatic than it is, but up to this moment I experience the incredible magic of surrender: I am Hers, and that certainly applies to my cock, which She fully controls.

I have by now become so used to wearing my CB that I often don't even notice it any more: and when I do notice it (e.g. because it is in the way for a moment), I like being reminded that it is there for a reason: by wearing it I prove unconditional loyalty and surrender to my D.

Pride and connection

I wear my CB with pride and that is how I feel too, day and night. It is a tangible sign of a very special, intimate connection with my D, just like the little key that She has recently been wearing around Her neck. When I see Her with that necklace with the little key, I smile inwardly at that special connection between the two of us.

This morning I gave my wife a kiss before going to work. She asked me: 'Are you wearing your little birdcage?' We smiled at each other.

sub Jetje

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text: sub Jetje
Photography: 123rf.com