A fun BDSM party, but think about safety

“A fun BDSM party, but think about safety“ was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

Anyone who is involved in BDSM probably realises that it is never completely without risk. Of course, you want to keep the risks as small as possible. After all, nobody wants (unintended) lasting damage, physical or mental. But accidents happen in the blink of an eye, and we are not always aware of every risk. This week I received a message from a Mistress friend of mine. She had been to a BDSM party, and just before the end, someone was still playing with a sub. This sent the sub into subspace, just before he had to get in the car to drive the lady (or ladies) home. Her question was: "Moriah, what would you have done if you had seen this...?"

Having fun, laughing and enjoying yourself

Good question, because I wonder whether I would even have noticed it. When I'm at a party with one or more slaves, I mainly keep an eye on my own little piggies. I'm not very focused on what's going on around me, to be honest. During a workshop I'm "on" and alert to all kinds of possible scenarios, focused purely on the other person or people, but when I'm at a party privately, that's much less the case and I'm mainly busy having fun, laughing and enjoying myself. The bow doesn't always have to be drawn, after all. But apart from that, this was of course not a smart thing to do. I have to agree with her on that. She said something about it too, which I can only appreciate. Not everyone would have the courage or take the trouble.

What are the risks?

Of course there are all kinds of gradations in a BDSM experience and everyone is different, but you can assume that during intense pain play, after about 15 to 20 minutes, the body starts producing all kinds of hormones in response to the pain stimuli. Your body is one big biological factory, and those hormones are best compared to a natural drug. You shouldn't get behind the wheel with alcohol or drugs in your system either. On top of that, the body also has a considerable job to do processing all those "traumas". It's no wonder the body gets tired, and combined with hormones racing around, you can imagine that at that moment someone is not the sharpest tool in the box. A quick, intense play moment just before closing time is therefore not very smart. To avoid using the word "irresponsible".

Landing gently

On the one hand, it's good if someone gets the chance to land gently, rather than hastily packing their bags and getting changed, and on the other hand it is not responsible to get behind the wheel at such a moment. Not for yourself, not for your passengers and not for other road users. You may be "sober" in the eyes of the law (or not demonstrably high), but that doesn't mean you are alert enough to drive.

In this example I'm assuming pain play, such as a firm whipping session, but someone can also drop into subspace through intense bondage or heavy humiliation play.

Always give someone time to land. It's not for nothing that after a BDSM experience I always have a proper cup of coffee to talk things through and land, before anyone has to get back on the road. Both privately and as a Pro Domme, and no, that time is never charged for. That time is simply included in the price. (Not that I make many commercial appointments these days, but that's beside the point.)

No quickie

BDSM doesn't lend itself to a quickie. Besides the experience itself, the afterplay, the aftercare, is at least as important. Really take the time for it. The experience doesn't stop the moment you put down the whip or untie the ropes. If you go to a party, make sure you stop playing well in time, so there is enough time to come down. Give the body time to land; it may even need some food to regain some energy. It has worked really hard. It's best to end the evening nice and chilled. Have a drink together, talk about the intensity of the experience, and end the evening in a relaxed way. And preferably not with a "just one more quick..."

And it's not only the Dom who is responsible for a good and as safe as possible BDSM experience; the sub is, of course, at least as responsible. They too must look after themselves and take their own health seriously. Of course it is tempting to still catch that experience - so close to closing time - but it is obviously not wise.

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text: Mistress Moriah
Image: 123rf.com