A loving shout-out to my private piggies

"A loving shout-out to my private piggies" was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

Today it is high time for a shout-out to my piggies, because I regularly get asked - or the desire is expressed - whether someone could qualify as a private sub. Or rather: as one of my private subbies. And my answer is invariably: “Tricky. Because the bar is high. Very high.” Usually an enthusiastic reply follows: “But Mistress, I want to do everything for You!” And at first hearing that sounds very loyal and very devoted, of course. But when I probe a little further, it turns out that ‘everything’ mainly refers to everything he himself wants to experience. Everything he thinks he needs. And well… that is of no use to me whatsoever.

Because whoever truly gets to wear the role of my private subbie - or as I call it with a wink: my piggy - does not earn that place with pretty words. But with deeds. And by seeing me just as well as I see my piggies. By sincerely wanting to give, without a hidden agenda. Without always counting on a reward in the form of attention, play or validation.

You don't just become a piggy

There is a price tag attached to that status. And no, I am not only talking about the financial side, although that is also part of the bar. Because let's be clear about that too: making a financial contribution to your Dominant's life is not a “dirty word”, and it certainly doesn't make it any less real (nor superficial and/or commercial). Quite the opposite. It creates room to invest - not only in the play, but in everything beyond it. Because that is where the depth you feel when you play together comes from.

But money alone doesn't make you "my piggy". What counts is what you do when (figuratively speaking) nobody is watching. What you offer without anything being asked of you. Or better still: when you know what I need before I realise it myself.

Action, reaction – but not only in the moment

To outsiders, BDSM is often a matter of outward show. A bit of waving a whip about. A clamp here, a command there. But what really happens between a Dominant and her sub goes much deeper. It is pure action and reaction. Just not always in the moment itself. The most beautiful form of reciprocity is not in the response that follows immediately, but in the energy that lingers. The intention you can feel. Knowing that you are seen and seeing the other in return.

My subbies see me during the experience. In my power, in my sadistic smile and in the calm of my voice. But they also see me outside of it. As a human being. With my wishes, my plans, and in my tiredness (and physical pains). And I see them. In their growth, their desires and their beautiful surrender. And that is precisely what makes the dynamic so special. Because it is not a stage play and therefore not a role. It is a kind of authenticity you rarely come across in other relationships.

Small gestures, great value

A few recent examples? Of course.

– “You want to learn waxing? Then I'll arrange an appointment with my waxer where You can watch.”
– “Shall I clear the rubble from the renovation at the playhouse? Then it will be tidy for your arrival.”
– “You have an appointment in the middle of nowhere to try on a leather dress? I'll arrange the transport.”
– “You want a play space of your own? Then I'll buy a house for it.”

It is precisely this kind of concrete thing that makes the difference. Not as empty promises, but by putting the deed straight to the word.
The odd jobs, the lugging, helping to build a toy cabinet. Even help with my “vanilla” websites or a listening ear on a difficult day. Those are the moments when I feel: this is loyalty. Not imposed, not forced. But given from the heart. And that makes me very happy.

What I get out of it? Something very different from what you might think

Sometimes someone asks me whether BDSM makes me “horny”. And no, it doesn't. Not in that way, at least. It touches a different layer in me. My dominant energy doesn't seek physical gratification - it seeks experience. Deep, intense connection. Pure. Raw at times. But always with heart.

What I get from my subbies is not arousal, but energy. Not an orgasm, but impact. Every sub makes my life more pleasant in his own way. And yes, easier too. Because when, as a Dominant, you are carried, supported and helped without having to ask, that is not something to take for granted, but a blessing.

Never asked

What is perhaps most characteristic of my piggies is that none of them ever asked whether he (or she) could become my private sub. There were no applications, no pleading, no empty promises of eternal servitude. It simply grew that way. Through who they are and what they do. Through their attitude, their effort, their natural instinct to give without expecting anything in return. They didn't ask for it: they earned it. Not by pushing themselves forward, but precisely by always being there. They didn't come only to take, they came above all to give. That is how it comes about. Organic and pure. Exactly as it is meant to be.

A well-deserved shout-out

So today, a big, fat shout-out to my private piggies. Because I am incredibly happy with all of you. You are loyal, proactive, loving and strong. And perhaps the most beautiful part: you are not jealous of one another. You grant each other your place. There is space, openness, respect. I see that and I feel that. And I appreciate it more than words can say.

You are not just subbies. You are wonderful, devoted pillars of support, who see me in all my facets. And me? I see you. Not only as a sub in the moment, but above all as a person beyond it. As part of my life. And perhaps that is the most beautiful thing BDSM has to offer: a connection that goes beyond the play.

And you?

So… should you ever wonder what it takes to become a real private piggy of mine - now you know. You can't become one by asking for it; you can only become one by being one...

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text: Mrs Moriah
Photography: 123rf.com