Deprivation - switching off the senses

“Deprivation - switching off the senses“ was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

The word ‘deprivation’ may sound unfamiliar, but it is actually nothing more or less than switching off one or more of your senses. Whether we are talking about temporarily taking away sight, sound, touch or even freedom of movement. Deprivation, or switching off one or more senses, gives an intense sensation. And yes, it can also be seriously arousing. But what exactly is deprivation, what does it do to you, and why is it exciting to restrict the senses?

What is deprivation?

Deprivation simply means ‘going without’ or ‘doing without’. Within a BDSM experience, this can mean that you temporarily take something away from someone, such as sight, hearing or freedom of movement. Think of a mask that plunges you into total darkness, or earplugs that suddenly place you in a silent bubble. Even restricting movement, such as being tied up, falls under this category. Basically anything where you have less control over your own senses or body.

The restriction is exactly where the kick begins. Deprivation takes you out of your comfort zone. When you switch off one sense, the other senses become sharper and more intense. Your senses get thrown off balance, you don't know what is coming, and that is precisely what makes it so exciting.

The psychology behind deprivation

Our brain loves control, that is common knowledge. We like to know what is going on around us, what people are thinking, what time it is, whether it is safe, whether something is about to happen, et cetera. It keeps us alert, so to speak. Deprivation suddenly turns that control dial back a few notches, and our brain doesn't quite know what to do with that.

But precisely because we no longer have control for a while, our brain can be surprised in a completely new way. It can even cause a state of heightened alertness and tension. You literally feel every little thing that happens far more intensely. That light touch of a fingertip on your skin can suddenly feel like standing under a waterfall, simply because your brain has no idea what is coming. It is surprised, and in that surprise lies the pleasure.

The thrill of not knowing what is coming

Not knowing what is going to happen can be incredibly arousing. In daily life we are often busy planning, organising and controlling everything. But in a deprivation session that control falls away. That creates a tension that, for many people, is an important part of the arousal.

Imagine you are blindfolded. You can't see what is going to happen. You may faintly hear someone walking around, picking something up, perhaps... a whip, a cattle prod, a clamp? Or maybe just a feather? It is precisely that not-knowing that puts your body and mind into a state of heightened readiness. Every touch, every movement, every breath in the room seems hundreds of times more intense.

And that feeling of "what now?" can be so intense that it creates a deeper connection with the person who is with you. Because you trust that she (or he) is the one who literally and figuratively holds the reins. The trust and vulnerability that come with this often create an incredible intimacy.

Getting pleasure from the unknown

But how do you actually get pleasure from this? The power of deprivation lies in the power of the moment. Because you don't know what is going to happen, you can be completely in the now. Everything feels fresher, new, unexpected. It is as if your brain suddenly works like a child's again – every stimulus is a new adventure.

Giving up control can also be liberating. In daily life we are often constantly trying to control everything. By surrendering yourself to a situation in which you have no control, you learn to let go. And in that surrender you can find so much pleasure. It gives you the chance to stop thinking and simply be. And let's be honest, there is also just something very exciting about having no idea what is going to happen. The unknown always offers a new challenge.

Subtle humour and a bit of self-mockery

Let's not pretend deprivation always goes perfectly. There are plenty of moments when the blindfold sits crooked (and you can still follow everything anyway), or you suddenly have to sneeze halfway through the session (and try doing that with a ball gag in!). Or what about the inevitable moment when you get an itch on that one spot you just can't reach? Fortunately, it doesn't always have to be perfect. The magic lies in the discovering and sometimes even in the failing. Nothing wrong with a good belly laugh in between.

The importance of safety

Deprivation requires a great deal of trust in your partner, and that trust must always be earned. So always make clear agreements about what is and isn't okay, and make sure you know how to communicate, even when you temporarily lose your senses. For example, use a ‘safeword’ that stops the session immediately if it becomes too intense. If you can't speak because of a gag or another tool, a non-verbal signal such as tapping three times with your hand is a good option.

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text: Mistress Moriah
Illustration: BDSMforyou