Strap-on or strap-on dildo. And what is pegging?

“Strap-on or strap-on dildo. And what is pegging?” was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

A common fantasy – both within and outside of BDSM – among men is to be “taken” by a woman. This is also known as “pegging.” Since women do not have a penis, a tool is needed for this. The strap-on. The strap-on is a strap-on dildo that is secured in a harness. The woman wears this harness like a pair of panties, which allows her to penetrate a man or woman. That’s a very simplified explanation of what a strap-on is. But you can imagine there’s quite a bit more to say about it.

Types of Strap-Ons

As is the case with many sex toys, there are various types of strap-ons and dildos available. Depending on your preferences, choose the one that best suits you. This can be based on the size of the dildo (from S to XXL), but the size of the harness and/or belt also plays an important role. Not all strap-ons are suitable for a curvier woman. So it’s important to carefully check all the sizes. Because an XXL dildo might not look that big in the picture, but in reality, I can guarantee the beginner that they’ll run away from it. Screaming.

And once you’ve found the right size for both the strap and the dildo, you’re faced with the next choice: which material should you choose? Personally, I find a soft silicone dildo very pleasant to use, but of course, you might feel quite differently about that.

How do you use the strap-on?

It’s actually pretty self-explanatory. You insert the dildo into the harness and fasten the harness like a pair of briefs. It’s important to lubricate the dildo with lubricant before use! Unlike a real penis, the silicone dildo doesn’t produce its own natural lubrication.

Before you use it, prepare your partner for penetration as well. Especially when it comes to anal penetration. The best way to do this is to loosen the sphincter muscle and let your partner gently get used to the sensation. Use a little lube for this. Start by inserting a finger and slowly add another one. Once that goes well, gently slide the dildo inside.

Do you find it gross to use your fingers first? Then put on some disposable latex gloves. They’re thin enough to maintain good contact with the body, and your hands stay clean.

Keep in mind that you may need some extra lube during penetration. So keep the bottle close at hand.

Is the strap-on only suitable for anal sex?

No, definitely not! You can do everything with a strap-on that you can do with a regular penis. So regular penetration is also a great option. That makes the strap-on suitable for every couple, whether it’s man/woman or woman/woman. You can even use the strap-on for a man/man couple. “Huh? How so?” I can almost hear you thinking, “That’s completely pointless.” You might think that at first glance, but it also depends a bit on the experience and what you want to achieve with it. There are also hollow dildos… and with a little luck, a penis fits inside them perfectly. How humiliating is it that you get to fuck him or her, but feel nothing yourself, because the strap-on shields your penis from any sensation.

Of course, you can also use the strap-on perfectly well when the man has an erection problem and still wants his wife to enjoy herself. The hollow dildo is also well-suited for this situation. Just like for men who come (too) quickly, while their partner wants to be fucked a little longer.

With a strap-on, you can therefore penetrate your partner in doggy style, with the recipient kneeling or bent over, or in the missionary position. The fact that hollow dildos exist means that the strap-on isn’t just suitable for women, but also, for example, for a cuckold experience. The cuckoldress is then not fucked by another man, but can be fucked by her own partner, with a massive cock, while the partner, her cuck, feels nothing himself. Maybe his cock is trapped in a CB in the meantime. Neatly stowed away. How humiliating is that!

Suitable for lesbians

Of course, the strap-on is also well-suited for lesbians, although some women consciously choose not to be penetrated. That’s perfectly fine, too.

However, if you do enjoy it, you can enhance the pleasure even further by inserting a vibrator or a dildo with vibration capabilities. There are even strap-ons where the vibration function is built into the harness, and you can control it with a remote.

Want to make it really exciting? There are even options for double penetration – both vaginal and anal – at the same time. And there are even special strap-ons for men where one dildo is mounted in an anal position above or below the penis. Also fun!

Just for penetration?

No, that doesn’t have to be the case at all. You can also use a strap-on for an amazing mindfuck! Especially if you want to turn your sub into a blowjob slut… With a strap-on, you can give him the chance to practice on you. How intense is that!

What is pegging?

You may have heard the term before, but pegging is a sexual act in which a woman penetrates her partner’s anus with a strap-on dildo.

The term originated in 2001 through a contest organized by American sex advice columnist Dan Savage in his column “Savage Love” for the Seattle-based underground magazine “The Stranger,” after his readers noted that there was no established name for this practice.

The first time you penetrate or have sex with a man from behind, it will take some getting used to. After all, you’re not used to this act at all, and on top of that, you’re doing it with something that has no sensation. So stay in close contact with each other and keep talking. How does it feel? Does it hurt? Or is it actually feeling good? Especially if you don’t have any experience yet, it takes some getting used to, and that first time can be pretty tricky. But… as with everything: practice makes perfect! The most important thing is: preparation and lube. Lots and lots of lube. Preferably use a silicone-based lubricant for this. Provided you aren’t allergic to it. If you are, choose a water-based lubricant. There are also special anal lubricants available that stay slippery longer, so you don’t have to reapply as often.

The most important thing is that the recipient is relaxed enough. If they aren’t relaxed and don’t feel confident enough, don’t even start. So always warm them up first by caressing them and playing with their anus.

Hygienic Use

If you’ve used the strap-on for anal penetration, don’t use it again (without proper cleaning) for vaginal use. You may choose to use condoms so you can change them between different activities. It goes without saying that this also applies if you want to use the dildo with different people. Always use different condoms to prevent sexually transmitted infections.

After use, it is important to clean the dildo thoroughly with a disinfectant or a good toy cleaner. Even if you have used condoms, it is still advisable to clean everything thoroughly before storing the items.

The importance of good hygiene

If the sub enjoys anal play, instruct them to keep their anus as clean as possible. Of course, this includes a nice, refreshing shower, but for anal sex, it’s not just important that the outside is clean – the inside must also be thoroughly cleaned. This can be done, for example, by thoroughly rinsing prior to anal play. This prevents unnecessary dirt. This gives the sub a reassuring feeling that he is well-prepared, allowing him to relax more easily. And the better he can relax, the better you can take him anally. Additionally, knowing that he has rinsed is very pleasant for you as well. You don’t want to be confronted with smelly “surprises” either.

The quickest way to cleanse is with an anal douche (or using the shower hose with the showerhead removed). Fill the anal douche with lukewarm water and slowly squirt the water into your anus using the douche. When you feel your rectum is fully filled, sit on the toilet and let the water drain out. The first time, the water will still be brown in color, but you’ll notice that after repeating this process a few times, the water will become increasingly clear. Keep doing this until the water stays clear. From that point on, you can assume it’s clean.

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Text & image: Mistress Moriah