The consequences of doing sounding wrong: you really don't know what you're playing with

“The consequences of doing sounding wrong: you really don't know what you're playing with“ was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

Definition of sounding
Sounding is a form of medically inspired BDSM play in which a rod (a sound or dilator) is carefully inserted into the urethra. It can evoke both physical and mental sensations, and demands the utmost care, hygiene and experience.

The consequences of doing sounding wrong: you really don't know what you're playing with

Sometimes you come across something on X that makes the hairs on your neck stand up. Not from arousal, but from pure horror. A video of a "Mistress" who, apparently without any knowledge whatsoever, was forcing a far too thick sound into the cock of a submissive man. The caption was something along the lines of: “Cram it in until it fits, poppers slut.”

Excuse me?

What happened there was not play. It was abuse. And possibly even with permanent damage. Because anyone who thinks you can just fiddle, push or 'just give it a go' with sounding really doesn't know what this act involves, let alone where the risks lie. And believe me: they are there. More than you think.

What actually is sounding?

Sounding, or urethral play, is the insertion of a specially shaped metal or silicone rod (the sound) into the urethra. For some it is an intense, almost meditative experience. For others it is a source of arousal, loss of control or even a path to deep surrender.

But sounding is also one of the most high-risk forms of BDSM play. You are working with a vulnerable, sensitive and, medically speaking, critical part of the body. The urethra was not designed to have instruments inserted into it. It can be done, provided it is done properly, but only with knowledge, preparation, care and the right materials. Anything else? You're playing with fire. Or rather: with blood, bacteria and injury.

Too big, too hard, too fast

What went wrong in that video is, sadly, what goes wrong more often with people who let themselves be guided by porn or impulse. Using a sound that is too thick for an inexperienced or unprepared urethra is not tough, it is irresponsible. The inside of the urethra is delicate tissue. It is not meant to be stretched without building up gradually. Forcing a sound in, especially one thicker than the channel can handle, can lead to:

• Tears or damage to the inner wall (urethral damage)

• Bleeding or haematuria (blood in the urine)

• Infections or urinary tract infections (especially when hygiene is lacking)

• Scarring, which can permanently narrow the urethra (stricture)

• Loss of sensation, nerve damage or even incontinence

And that's without poppers in the mix...

Poppers and sounding: a life-threatening combination

Poppers numb. They relax. And sometimes they dissociate you too. The idea that someone 'relaxes better' under the influence of poppers during sounding is a stone-cold misconception. Because what poppers also do is switch off the body's natural pain warning. And pain is precisely the signal you need to know whether you're doing things right.

Without that signal you can go far too far without the sub (or you yourself) noticing. That seems handy, until it goes wrong. And then there is no way back. Pain has a function. It says: stop, this is too much. Anyone who ignores or suppresses it opens the door to serious physical injury. And the urethra is delicate tissue...

No violence, no force

Sounding calls for calm. Patience. It is NOT an experience about pain! It is about focus, arousal, perhaps a touch of fear, but never, and I really mean never, about pain. You watch, you feel, you observe. Is the sub tense? How is his body reacting? You work only with sterile materials. You use the right lubricants (preferably water-based, sterile and free of irritating substances). And you always choose a sound that suits the level and experience of the person you're playing with.

In fact, a sound should glide in almost by itself, without pressure. As soon as you have to push or wrench, you know you're doing something wrong. Stop immediately. It is NOT an instrument of torture, like a whip or paddle.

Medical consequences

I know it sounds exciting: a sub who screams, writhes, pushes against his limit. But don't be fooled. Many subs want to please their Mistress. They go far. Too far. And that means it is up to you, as the Dominant, to know what you are doing. To sense whether it feels right. To end the session if it becomes dangerous. Even if the sub still seems to be 'coping'. And certainly not to use it as a power tool to make that sub suffer on purpose.

If you use a sound incorrectly, it can lead to medical problems that people are ashamed to take to a doctor. Many victims of badly performed sounding wait too long before seeking help, with all the consequences that brings. Think of bladder infections, urination problems, fever, infections that develop into prostate problems, erection problems, incontinence problems or even hospital admissions. Is that worth your game?

Learning to sound properly: it can be done, but not through videos

Do you want to use sounding in your play? Fine. It can be beautiful. But then you do need to educate yourself. Read up. Take a workshop with someone who knows what they're talking about. Practise first on a (serious or professional) experienced practice sub who guides you. Ask for feedback. Work with sterile materials and sterilise them again after use. Because even a little residual moisture can be a source of bacteria for the next sub.

Never use cheap knock-off sounds from AliExpress or dubious sex shops without guarantees. Pay attention to the shape, the material (medical-grade steel or good-quality silicone) and the finish (smooth, rounded, without burrs).

Take responsibility, or stay away

As a Mistress or Dominant you carry the (ultimate) responsibility. That means you know what you're doing. And if you don't, learn it. Or stay away. A sound is not a toy. It is medical equipment with a potentially risky effect. Compare it with injection needles or electrodes: only use them if you know what you're doing. And so never combine them with substances that affect your perception or pain threshold.

Do you want to break a sub? There are dozens of other techniques for that, without you having to send him to the out-of-hours GP.

Because real Mistresses do know what they're doing

Let this blog not be scaremongering, but a call for awareness. Because I truly believe in the beauty of sounding, provided it is done with attention and care. But I also want the subs of today to still be able to pee without pain tomorrow. That they feel safe.. And are not used as stupid playthings by someone who has no idea what they're doing themselves.

So yes, sounding can be beautiful. Even intimate. But never through force or speed. And certainly never in combination with poppers. Oh... and preferably not without knowledge either.

Additional tip!

After a sounding session it is always important to pee. This helps flush the urethra clean and reduces the risk of infection. The first few times this may give a slightly burning sensation, which is normal and no reason to panic. That feeling usually fades quickly. What doesn't belong, however, is pain that persists or gets worse. In that case it is wise to stay alert and, if necessary, seek medical help.

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text and images: Mrs Moriah