The power of surrender

“The power of surrender“ was written for BDSMforyou.nl by slave noozce.

What does my submission mean? What does BDSM mean to me? Is it a game? Is it sex? The first words that come to mind are: strength and pride. Nothing in me experiences submission as weakness. It is trust, a choice and a way of being.

In her breath

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Bending without breaking

I am submissive - not because someone breaks me, because I am broken, or because someone needs to break me. I dare to bend without losing myself, and I bend without breaking. That makes it pure, that makes it real, that makes it vulnerable and powerful. Anyone who treats or approaches me or a submissive with disrespect has not understood. They have not understood this beautiful world of BDSM. In surrender there is vulnerability, and in vulnerability lies the greatest strength.

As long as it is a conscious choice, based on mutual respect and trust. Not a simple power game in which things are enforced out of insecurity. It is a connection, an intimacy, a form of love in a very pure form.

A choice of my own

I give because I want to - it is a choice. My submission runs deep. I am shy with people and I do not give quickly. When I find someone I may connect with and give myself to, then I really do give. My Mistress stands on a pedestal, not because She is better, but simply because it makes me happy. I become intensely happy and joyful when I may please, may serve, may massage, may endure, when I have a really hard time, can barely keep going, almost want to give up and then get through it anyway. That I hold on for Her. This is such an intense feeling and has nothing to do with sex. It is an emotional form of love that gives more than simple sex or orgasms, and yes, I have had a great many Divine orgasms.

Pleasing

My submission is pleasing Her in what She enjoys. That also means when I do not enjoy something, find it scary or exciting. Perhaps something I would never think of myself. If it makes Her happy and joyful, then I want to give that. This is a kind of fuel, I want to endure it, I actually want to do it. Not because I have to, but because in that moment there is nothing I would rather do. Not because I am afraid I would otherwise not be good enough, but because then I am even more beautiful and better, can show how much I love, and may go to a place where I can submit and let go. However scary that may be.

Her pleasure, Her satisfaction, Her pride give me an energy and a joy that I cannot describe in words. It is intense and incredibly good. A form of love through obedience and trust. A way of connecting in which I may be completely myself and can overcome so much.

Her approval

For me it is not a fear of having control or direction myself, not a dependence because I cannot do this - I can do that perfectly well - it is a conscious choice. Her approval, the gentleness, the calm, the words “well done”: it is a wonderful place to be. A place where I gladly want to be.

It is not something I can switch on and off. It is simply there. Not a role, not theatre; as soon as I have this beautiful connection, it is there continuously. Not a game or a moment that I step in and out of, it is a continuous trust and presence of gentleness. A place where I do not have to protect myself, where I may be honest and may be me. Without walls, without defence mechanisms. Just me. However exciting that is.

What I give, I give consciously
What I share, I share with meaning
Whoever sees only my body does not see the essence of what I give.

The most beautiful thing I offer is not my skin
but the strength with which I open myself
The pride with which I kneel
The love with which I serve.

Vulnerability is strength

What I said before and what I am convinced of. Kneeling is strength, vulnerability is strength, serving is strength, submission is strength. It is a place where all your walls disappear. No protection mechanisms, just you. It is trust and giving, “I trust You enough not to have to hold on to myself”.

I do not bend because I am simply small and lesser. Yes, I feel so small, so soft, shy, playful, sweet and beautiful. I bend because I know who I am. Because I know that the One I do this for sees me, hears me, carries me, loves me and respects me.

Used as an object of lust

Sometimes there seems to be a misconception about submissives. That it is something that happens to you, something that is used, manipulated and treated as an object of lust. For me it is anything but this. Letting go of control like this, giving like this, daring to be like this, in all emotions, all insecurities, without any form of defence whatsoever. Letting go and floating in trust and giving. It is so intensely beautiful. If you think a slave is simply there to be used for your own pleasure, then you are missing something truly beautiful. I find it sad to be so insecure that you have to pull another person down, have to break them, to have a feeling of control. Do not break something so beautiful and vulnerable in order to rebuild it in your own version; that is shaping someone out of your own insecurity.

Surrender is a form of control: I decide whom I trust with my vulnerability, and yes, that is exciting, because it means I really show myself. Without a mask, without reserve; precisely there lies the most intense experience, there lies my strength.

No sex

BDSM is not sex for me. Serving is not sexual for me. It is not about having as many of my holes filled as possible, or a place where my filled holes radiate real masculinity, Dominance or control. It is not an escape from control or autonomy. It is anything but that. It is being fully in the moment.

Of course there is arousal and sensuality in the energy, because surrender is intense and alive. But the core is not lust, the core is connection. The emotional orgasms of happiness and pride. When you carry, give and are, it is worth so much more.

Not a game

For me it is absolutely not a game. This is far too serious and vulnerable, not something I step in and out of. Not a feeling I switch on or off. Not an evening or a night that I spend with someone else. You will also not see me being randomly whipped at a fun play party, and nice, casual play dates, just for fun, are not for me either. I have tried this, but it does not work that way for me. I seek too much depth for that, layer by layer, deeper into vulnerability. It is a connection on a deeper level. A connection in which I may be soft, may be open and real. Where my strength does not lie in control and direction, but in giving gentleness, connection and trust.

Surrender is not empty

I feel more connected, more balanced. Aware of what I give; surrender is not emptiness, it is self-knowledge. I know who I am, what I want to find, how far I want to go. It becomes scary and dangerous if you end up with a Dominant who does not lead from certainty but from insecurity. Who controls and possesses out of fear of losing, instead of out of certainty, calm and growth. For me, BDSM is about self-respect, love, self-worth, self-care, with plenty of room for humour and emotions.

I am not writing this to convince, I am writing this to share. To show that, from being a slave, I possess a great deal of self-love and self-respect, and that giving this is a powerful choice. That I become intensely happy from serving and giving, that I want to have it hard and to endure it. That it is something I carry and feel with pride. That it is not something that deserves less respect.

How much do you dare?

Because let us be honest: how much do you dare to give, how far do you dare to let go and go, who are you really beneath all your layers of protection, can you be in your most vulnerable emotions and be held there? Letting go of control and trusting. Bending without breaking?

There is no weakness in kneeling; bending is not breaking or being broken. It is being in all fullness. A place where I feel incredibly happy, a place where I very much want to be. I am grateful that there is a new Mistress in my life who takes me on a beautiful new journey, where I may serve, build and trust.

After this piece, I hope you will not see a submissive as an object of lust, as weak, or as an object you can approach and message for your own lust. But that you see this person as a human being, who is stronger than you can imagine, and that you respect that.

I found freedom in letting go
In silence, my voice
In gentleness, a strength
And at the end of control, a very beautiful beginning

slave noozce (slave of Mistress Moriah)

Source

Text & photo: noozce