A world full of fakers and scams

“A world full of fakers and scams“ was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

The world is full of fakers, scammers and people looking for easy money or sexual gain. BDSM is no different. So you see - especially on social media - an awful lot of young girls who want to boost their pocket money as so-called "Findommes". And judging by the number of gold diggers, it apparently works perfectly well for them. They all copy each other, and apparently there are plenty of men who willingly open their wallets and toss a handful of small change their way.

Does it have anything to do with BDSM? Mwow, not really. Are they fakers? No, I don't want to claim that either (although they are certainly among them). It's mostly an easy earning model. But well, if those men don't mind, there isn't really much wrong with it. You would think. And yet, I'm not exactly happy about this phenomenon. Mainly because it hollows out the BDSM scene enormously. BDSM can be so intense and beautiful, and this way it becomes a cheap fairground attraction. That's my humble opinion.

The tribute

And if you have fakers on one side, of course you also have fakers on the other side. Subs who present themselves as serious subs but are really not much more than attention suckers. Mostly men (sorry, that sounds like a generalisation, but unfortunately 99% of them really are men) who overload you with attention-demanding questions but never get around to making an appointment. Often because they are (for example) stuck in a marriage they can't or don't want to escape from, or have no budget for a Pro Domme. A conversation with a "Mistress" is often exciting enough, and live contact isn't needed.

Personally I find it a great shame that many Mistresses have started asking for a "tribute" (after all, a sub is perfectly entitled to gather some information beforehand without commitment), but it is understandable. We have these faking subs to thank for that. I (still) work without a tribute myself, because I find it a bit cheap. I do look carefully at whom I give my attention to, but however carefully I do so, one still slips through regularly.

How do you recognise a fake Mistress?

To recognise a fake Mistress, it's important to know which options you may come across. There are different types of faking Mistresses:

A. The bisexual man who poses as a Mistress
B. The man who is out to make quick money using other people's photos
C. Non-dominant women who pose as a Mistress

The bisexual man who poses as a Mistress

For the bisexual man, male subs are mainly "easy sexual prey" on whom they can vent their lusts. Of course the sub may find this wonderful, but then make sure it is equal from the start. What I mean is that the sub makes a conscious choice for a trans Mistress. However, if (easy) sexuality is the goal (without giving information about this beforehand), there is a good chance that the "Mistress" has little or no knowledge of BDSM and what it involves. After all, BDSM is something entirely different from kinky sex.

If "easy sex" is the drive, the sub runs the risk of being raped, without any agreement having been made about it. Again, there are plenty of good and serious trans Mistresses, but they will be honest about this beforehand. This group of fakers can, incidentally, include both dominant and submissive men. The latter stem from a kind of frustration because there are relatively few truly dominant women. This way they still create a sort of BDSM atmosphere for themselves.

How to recognise them

You can often recognise these fakers by cheap language, being very inviting towards sexual acts (online too), little or no knowledge of BDSM and a denigrating attitude towards the sub. They give only scant information about themselves. They won't send photos of themselves, won't give live images and will at most use photos of others. This means that in many cases they don't use multiple photos, but perhaps just one.

The man who is out to make quick money using other people's photos

This is yet another category of men. These fakers use photos of existing women (usually content creators on OnlyFans and the like). He poses as the woman whose photos he has stolen and will mainly try to squeeze the money out of your pockets.

How to recognise them

They are mostly money makers who, with a lot of shouting (in pixels) and a lot of bleating, want to squeeze the money out of your pockets. He mainly wants to be addressed as Goddess and you may only have contact with him if you first sort out that tribute. All men are pretty much losers.

Non-dominant women who pose as a Mistress

This group of fakers is a bit harder to recognise, because they really are women. And if you, as a sub, want that one experience very badly, you'll be only too happy to believe her words. These girls or ladies are sometimes called the "AliExpress Mistresses" or the "middle-finger girls". You can recognise them mainly because they have learned one particular scenario by heart and project it onto the sub. It has nothing to do with BDSM, they have no idea what they are really doing, but they all copy each other. It's like a nest of parrots.

You find this group mainly among Findommes and money slavery. They are purely after money and try to squeeze it out of your pocket in all sorts of ways. Small payment requests, big payment requests, however deep you are willing to reach into that wallet.

How to recognise them

With these fakers it's only about money; they don't need to see you, except during draining or a "cashmeet". They aren't really interested in BDSM. They immediately shout that you're a loser, stick up their middle finger and use even more crude language, and if necessary a simple form of blackmail.

Often she only has photos of herself in all sorts of sexy outfits and high, higher, highest heels. You will hardly see any photos of her in which BDSM plays the leading role. Mostly she is just full of herself and finds herself breathtaking, and you are expected to agree. Preferably via a payment request.

How do you recognise a fake sub?

It always remains difficult, but you can recognise most fake subs by the number of questions he asks and how long he tries to hold your attention without taking concrete steps. If a sub has serious interest, he is often much more to the point. He knows what he wants and is focused about it. He has often already searched online for a suitable Mistress, so not much time is needed to arrive at an appointment.

It's precisely the ones who just keep asking questions who are often the faking energy drainers, and you're better off stopping with them as soon as possible.

So what is she like?

A good Domme stands firmly in her shoes; she doesn't need to immediately call you every name under the sun without any agreements having been made about it. A serious Mistress asks about your do's & don'ts. Because let's be honest, a masochist often has no interest in those so-called humiliating remarks. A good Mistress knows that, and therefore first looks at what kind of person she has in front of her.

She will ask you questions and also give you the opportunity to ask questions. Of course she will tell you if you ask inappropriate questions, but she won't snap at you without nuance. A true Dominant Lady doesn't impose her opinion on you. She will set her own limits and also take your limits into account.

How do you deal with a faker?

As soon as you have doubts, simply break off contact. Usually those internal alarm bells are right, so listen to them and don't let things get further out of hand unnecessarily. Ultimately, trust is a fundamental part of BDSM, so if you are suspicious, it won't work anyway. Even if it isn't a faker.

Have you really been financially misled or scammed? Then don't hesitate to report it to the police.

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text: Mistress Moriah
Photography: 123rf.com