BDSM and religion: there are always possibilities

“BDSM and religion: there are always possibilities“ was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

BDSM and religion. Can the two go together, or do they clash? And what do you do if you still have submissive or dominant feelings? Do you push them away and pretend they aren't there? Or do you give in to them in secret, and does that actually work?

When it comes to faith and sexuality, they are often like two magnets that you push against each other. Over the centuries, religion has had quite a lot to say about what is "allowed" and what isn't. And that's before we even get to something like BDSM. At first glance, BDSM doesn't seem to fit into a traditional religious context. Or does it?

The Christian world: pain, lust and... guilt?

Let's start with Christianity. For most Christians, especially those in traditional churches such as the Catholic or Orthodox church, sexuality is something you share within marriage. But BDSM? It isn't talked about openly all that often, at least not in the church pews.

Yet within Christianity there are people who integrate BDSM into their relationship and faith. Some Christians see it as a way to deepen their bond with their partner, a shared exercise in trust and surrender. Others feel guilty and struggle with their desire, because it doesn't fit the strict moral guidelines they were taught. Christianity has a long history of penance and sacrifice, which in itself already almost feels like a BDSM experience: the idea of suffering, of surrendering yourself to a higher power. Sounds quite familiar, doesn't it?

Islam and BDSM: strict rules, but room for interpretation?

Within Islam, too, sexuality plays a role that is closely intertwined with faith and duty. In Islam, sex is meant for marriage and is seen as a blessed act when it stays within the boundaries of sharia. BDSM? That is more complicated. Practising it openly is often not encouraged, although the Islamic world also has room for different interpretations and movements.

Judaism and the beautiful complexity of Halacha and marriage

Within Judaism, sexual ethics play a major role. Traditional Jewish law, the Halacha, has specific rules for sexual relationships within marriage, and those rules are intended to strengthen the bond between partners and to show respect for each other's needs. Although BDSM is certainly not widely accepted within Orthodox communities, you could argue that there is room for 'personal interpretation' within the private spaces of a Jewish marriage.

Buddhism: the path of enlightenment and self-awareness

Then we come to Buddhism, a faith that is often somewhat 'broader' in its view of life and human experience. Buddhism revolves around enlightenment and letting go of desires, which can sometimes be interpreted as a plea to distance yourself from all forms of physical pleasure. Still, there are plenty of Buddhists who give BDSM a place in their lives.

Hinduism: sexuality as ritual and bond

Within Hinduism, sexuality plays a complex and paradoxical role. In Indian culture and Hindu traditions, sexuality and spirituality are closely intertwined; think, for example, of the Kama Sutra, which also has a spiritual dimension. Although openly discussing BDSM is probably still taboo, Hinduism does offer a basis for exploring sexuality as part of spiritual growth.

Strictly taboo

In Orthodox and conservative faith communities, practising BDSM can be seen as a violation of religious laws and moral norms, and discussing it often remains strictly taboo.

For some people, taking the step towards BDSM can already be difficult, especially being open about it with your own partner or those around you, but religion can make that step even bigger. How you deal with this depends mainly on your partner, your surroundings and the extent to which you can accept the consequences of your choices. Even if some people try to make you believe otherwise, you are not crazy for being interested in BDSM, and it is certainly not devilish. BDSM can actually be very loving and add depth to your relationship. And what the two of you do together is none of the business of any church or religion.

Confidant

If your religious beliefs have you struggling with your feelings and desires, find a confidant you can talk to. It is important that you make it something you can discuss, so that you are able to find your own way through this. A way that suits you. Perhaps not all aspects of BDSM can be reconciled with your faith, but perhaps you can bring certain aspects of it into your life that may not conflict with your beliefs. BDSM is so broad that much more is possible than you think.

So rather than thinking in terms of limitations, go looking for what is possible! There is surely a beautiful path for you to walk too!

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text: Mrs Moriah
Photography: 123rf.com