Beautiful, intense, and loving BDSM

“Beautiful, intense, and loving BDSM” was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

Sometimes life is full of contradictions. I recently posted the blog “The Erosion and Destruction of BDSM,” but that was quickly followed by a beautiful, intense, loving BDSM afternoon – BDSM pur sang. Not long after posting it, I had to head to the SM studio for a scheduled BDSM workshop. The funny thing about a workshop is that I’m always nervous beforehand and I ask myself: “What am I doing to myself?”

It’s not that I don’t enjoy leading a workshop – on the contrary, I think it’s the best thing there is – but it’s a kind of stage fright. I can’t describe it any other way. At moments like that, all these worries flood my mind at once: “What if I don’t connect with them? What if we don’t click? And what if I forget what to say? Or what if…” Well, you get the point. All those fears swirling in my head. It’s a miracle I haven’t developed a water head from it yet.

Beautiful, intense experiences

And the funny thing is, I’ve never had a bad workshop. So far, I’ve actually only had beautiful, intense experiences. I’ve witnessed the purest form of BDSM and met the most loving couples. And how special is it that I get to briefly tag along on an experience they normally share only with each other? Because most couples who sign up for a BDSM workshop aren’t on Fetlife, don’t go to Femdom parties, and don’t broadcast it to the world. They experience it together, within the walls of their home.

And sometimes they could use a little nudge or a few extra tools to help them along. And that’s what I’m here for. That can be very practical (this is how you do this, that’s how it works, and watch out for that), but perhaps the most important thing during a BDSM workshop is the focus on the person. Coaching both partners.

Mental aspect

Because in BDSM, the mental aspect is incredibly important, not only in the experience itself but also in how we see each other. It’s not just the receiver (sub/slave) who wants to be seen, but also the giver (Dominant, Master/Mistress). After all, you do it for each other; it’s a pure expression of love. From both sides. It’s important to help people consciously feel what something does to them. Because of the fast pace of society, we’re almost no longer able to pause and reflect on that. Not just physically, but especially mentally. Because what does it actually do to you? And what does it do to the other person? How does something feel? And by that, I certainly don’t mean just physically, but especially emotionally.

Often, it involves couples where one partner has expressed a desire. In most cases, this is the submissive (sub/slave/receiver). The partner, who is usually taken by surprise by this, is then faced with a choice. “Can I accommodate my partner in this? Do I want to? Can I? Isn’t that really strange? Am I crazy then? Or is he/she?” Such a shift in the relationship is no small matter. And it shows an enormous amount of love if the partner decides to take steps in this direction. Sometimes I get to help a little bit with that. And that is very special.

Loving BDSM

It’s wonderful to see how these couples come in shyly, nervous about what lies ahead. We have a drink, I let them get used to the space (and to me), and eventually I see them gradually open up more and more, becoming more receptive to the experience and growing in their “being.” The workshop is tailor-made; we create a program together beforehand. It’s merely a guideline, because the actual content unfolds live. And there’s no right or wrong in that. After all, BDSM isn’t a race where the goal is to reach the other side as quickly as possible. It’s precisely by taking small steps that you can go further. And those first steps often revolve around self-confidence, acceptance, recognition, and a great deal of love and respect.

It is precisely during the BDSM workshop that I see the true power of loving BDSM. And that goes far beyond high heels, tight outfits, and kinky sex. It is precisely during these moments that I see the proof that the superlative of love is BDSM.

And how wonderful it is to see them leave with big smiles on their faces… full of plans and ideas for the future!

And me? I drive home with a huge smile and a heart full of love. What a wonderful profession I have! And no matter how daunting the question “why do I do this?” may sound beforehand, I know the answer for sure after such a beautiful experience: This is why I do it!

More information

Psychological – Theme page
BDSM – Theme page

Source

Text & image: Mistress Moriah