FetLife: the kinky living room of the internet

"FetLife: the kinky living room of the internet" was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

If you move in the world of BDSM, fetish and alternative sexual expression, FetLife.com is a familiar name. It is a social network designed especially for people with a passion for kink. Think of it as a kind of Facebook, but with a focus on BDSM and a strong emphasis on anonymity and community. And if you're on there? Feel free to send a friend request. Always fun!

What is FetLife?

FetLife is a platform where you can create a profile with a username, gender, sexual preferences, fetishes and, if you like, photos. Many users deliberately choose a pseudonym to protect their privacy.

On FetLife you can

Create a profile

You create a profile with a username, gender, sexual preferences, fetishes and, if you like, photos (they don't have to be nude, but they can be). Many people deliberately choose a pseudonym.

Find events

Think of munches, workshops, kinky parties or play parties. You can search by region, date and type of event. In the Netherlands, many local and regional BDSM gatherings are announced here.

Discussion groups

There are thousands of groups covering everything from rope techniques and mental play to D/s dynamics, et cetera. You can ask questions, post ads, share experiences or simply read along.

Diaries and stories

Users share their experiences, fantasies or reflections through "kinky writings". Some people use it as a kind of kink diary. Perfect for picking up playful ideas or letting someone else's fantasy turn you on.

Making connections

You can follow other kinksters or send private messages, although the emphasis is more on community than on dating or hook-ups (as with other apps).

The platform is mainly outward-facing: it is about sharing knowledge and experiences and building a community.

What FetLife is not

It's important to know what FetLife is not:

Not a dating app
It's not Tinder, although you can post an ad in which you are looking for a play partner.

Not a porn hub
Although explicit photos or videos are sometimes shared, you need a subscription to watch the videos.

Not a commercial marketplace
Adverts for paid services are generally removed or tucked away in a corner.

House rules and policy on commercial activities

FetLife has clear house rules to keep the community safe and respectful. An important aspect of these is the policy on commercial activities. The platform does not allow the promotion of commercial BDSM services, such as those offered by professional Mistresses or gigolos. Accounts that offer or promote such services risk being removed.

These rules were introduced partly because of pressure from payment processors. In 2017, FetLife lost the ability to process credit card payments due to complaints about certain content on the site, such as blood, needles and vampirism. In response, FetLife removed hundreds of groups and temporarily stopped the creation of new groups.

However, the platform remains a place where knowledge and experiences can be shared, as long as this is done within the guidelines.

Safety and privacy

FetLife offers several options to protect your privacy:

Profile settings: You can set who may see your photos and who may send you messages.

Staying anonymous: Many users choose a pseudonym and share no personal information.

No visibility in search engines: Your profile is not visible in search engines such as Google.

Even so, it's important to always be careful about what you share and who you are in contact with. Use your common sense and be alert to your own limits and those of others.

What does FetLife cost? And what do you get for it?

FetLife is free to use at its most basic. You can create a profile, follow groups, view events and send messages without paying. But for those who want a little more, such as access to videos, extended search options and a longer timeline of activity, there is the option to support the platform financially.

The costs are as follows:

• 30 euros for 6 months

• 60 euros for 12 months

• 120 euros for 24 months

• 240 euros for lifetime access

You can pay by credit card, Bitcoin, iDEAL, Paysafecard or even with a gift voucher. It's important to know that these contributions are not intended as payment for services, but as support for the platform. You do get extra features in return, such as watching videos and a more extensive timeline. It's a way to support the platform while getting more out of your experience.

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text: Mistress Moriah
Image: 123rf.com