Going down or licking: what is the right way?

“Going down or licking: what is the right way?” was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

Of course, going down on a woman, licking her or, to use a fancy word, "cunnilingus" is not reserved for BDSM; it can just as easily be part of vanilla sex. But if you are instructed to do this task as a sub, you had better turn up well prepared. Because fumbling is no use to anyone. Hence a little blog about the right way to go down on a woman, lick her and give oral sex.

What is going down on a woman?

Going down on a woman is sexually stimulating the vulva with the mouth. The vulva includes the labia and the clitoris. And with the mouth can mean: licking, sucking and kissing. It is an effective way to make a woman come to an orgasm.

Many women love oral sex because it is an intimate activity (both physically and mentally). So it does require a certain amount of trust. The clitoris contains thousands of nerve endings and is therefore very sensitive. Focused stimulation can lead to an intense orgasm. It is wonderful foreplay. Do take your time, though, and build up the intensity.

Crash course "You can learn to go down well"

Step 1

Before you start licking, give her a compliment, so that the lady can relax as much as possible. Only when a woman feels completely at ease can she truly enjoy herself. So before you start licking, put her at ease by complimenting her. Provided you get the chance, of course, because if she simply plonks her divine pussy down on your nose without warning, you won't have much left to say. You can of course still make your enjoyment clear with some soft moaning.

Step 2

Make sure she is in the position that is most comfortable for her. If necessary, put a small cushion under her buttocks to lift her pelvis slightly. That way you can reach her better, so you are less likely to get a sore neck.

Step 3

The idea is not that you turn into a copy of Lassie; going down on a woman is more than just licking. You can also gently suck, kiss, stroke and knead. Start with the labia and her thighs and don't dive straight onto the clit. In the beginning the area around the vagina can be even more arousing than the clit itself. So take plenty of time to pamper that whole area. Above all, let her yearn for attention on her clit. Always keep in mind that a woman's brain is her biggest sex organ!

Step 4

Let your tongue glide slowly from bottom to top, very slowly. Tease her a little by just not touching the clitoris at first. Her desire will only grow. Lick the labia, slowly, then a bit faster, and calmly push her legs apart, but still avoid her clitoris.

Pay attention to her moaning and the writhing of her body. They often give plenty of signals that you can use as a guide.

Step 5

Now, only very occasionally, you include the clitoris, as if it happens by accident. Keep licking her vagina, her labia, her thighs. You will notice that her clitoris swells more and more because she gets more and more aroused, and there is really nothing she would rather have than your full focus on her clit. Take your time and play with her arousal.

Can't find the clit? Then lick the upper part of her vagina, varying the pressure. Spread her labia so you can reach properly. If you are in the flow, you can also put one or more fingers inside her vagina. Do make sure they are wet (saliva, vaginal fluid or lubricant). It may take some practice to concentrate on both actions. But practice makes perfect.

Step 6

Gently suck on the clitoris and alternate it with your tongue. You will soon notice whether she appreciates the sucking and whether sucking harder is wanted. You can tell, for example, by the sounds she makes, or by her lifting her pelvis or moving it up and down. For you it is a matter of carrying on... and above all not stopping.

If she comes to an orgasm, bear in mind that the clitoris is extra sensitive for a while. One woman likes to feel your warm lips on the clit a little longer, another doesn't. You will notice that soon enough. Give her time to land and recover. A woman can come several times in a row... so if you give her a moment to recover, you can get going again afterwards. You can then skip the first 3 steps and start straight with step 4.

Is going down on a woman safe?

No, if you think of STIs, it is not safe. There is even a high chance of infection. There are flavoured condoms, gloves and dental dams for oral sex that reduce the risk. If you have grazes or cuts around your lips or on your fingers, it is better to stay away from body fluids altogether.

What is "baffen"?

Besides "beffen" (going down on a woman), you may have heard the term "baffen" in passing. Baffen is similar to beffen, but with baffen you focus on the anus. Basically just another word for rimming or licking the anus.

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text: Mistress Moriah
Photography: 123rf.com