Hiring a BDSM gigolo, why not?

"Hiring a BDSM gigolo, why not?" was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

Commercial Mistresses are everywhere. You find them in all shapes and forms: from Ladies to Goddesses, from mild to merciless, from beginners to extremely experienced. They are visible, approachable and – perhaps most importantly – becoming more and more normal in society. But what about the other side of the spectrum? A professional BDSM gigolo, for example?

What if you, as a woman, feel submissive desires? What if you would love to lie at a man's feet, maybe even for the first time? Where do you find a safe way in? And more importantly: where do you find a good Dominant man? Professional BDSM gigolos and/or Pro Doms are scarce. And that is remarkable, to say the least. Because the need... it is there. I am convinced of that.

The questions nobody asks out loud

Why do women hardly ever hire a Dominant Gigolo? Why is the offer so limited, while the fantasies are very much alive?

I don't know how often I receive messages from curious women. Women who dream of surrender, of being led, being spanked, tied up, undressed, obedient...
But as soon as the word 'paying' comes up, something odd happens. The conversation shifts. The doubt creeps in. And the questions follow:

"Is it even normal to pay for this?"
"Shouldn't I try this with a partner first?"
"What if it's disappointing?"

And I understand those questions. Because for women the threshold is often much higher. Not only because spending money on erotica is still a taboo for women. But also because submission makes you vulnerable. Because it is about trust. Because your body, your boundaries, your soul are literally at stake.

And yet... that is precisely why hiring a professional BDSM gigolo may well be one of the safest ways to begin exploring your submissive side.

Why you might consider a BDSM gigolo

Suppose I were submissive. Suppose I had suppressed that need for years and wondered: "What does it really feel like to experience surrender?" Then I would want to have my first experience with someone who:

• is safe

• is professional

• can judge well where my boundaries lie

• and has experience with beginner subs/slaves

• can lay a beautiful foundation for the rest of my experiences

And that is exactly what a good BDSM gigolo can offer.

The advantages of hiring a professional Dominant

There are so many advantages to working with an experienced Dom, especially when he does it commercially:

1. Safety above all

A professional knows the do's and don'ts. He knows how to keep you safe both physically and emotionally. He understands what aftercare is. And he knows your boundaries are sacred. And he constantly checks in on how you are doing – even when you no longer know yourself.

2. No hidden agenda

There are no expectations about love, a relationship or what has to happen afterwards. It is all about your experience. That makes it easier to relax. You don't have to give anything back. You are allowed to receive. And that is a more than pleasant feeling.

3. Experience with beginners

A good gigolo knows your first time is exciting. He has done this before. He knows how to dose things. And he will never rush you. And he will not judge you if you cry, hesitate or lose control for a moment.

4. You decide

In a professional setting you determine beforehand what will and will not happen. That gives peace of mind. Clarity. And therefore room for experience. Because when you know you can stop at any moment, you dare to go further.

So why is the threshold still so high?

There are several reasons why women are less quick to hire a BDSM gigolo:

Shame

Many women feel uncomfortable with the idea of paying for something so intimate. Whereas with massages, coaching, therapy or tantra it is perfectly normal. Strange, really, isn't it?

Pressure of expectations

Women often want 'chemistry'. They want to feel safe and attracted. And that feels like something that has to arise naturally – not something you buy. But that is precisely where a good professional makes the difference: he knows how to build trust. How to take you along. Without pushing. Without expectations.

The idea that it is 'pathetic' to pay

This idea is so persistent. But do you know what? You are not paying for love or sex. You are paying for knowledge, experience, safety, attunement and a place where you are the centre. And that is anything but pathetic. That is powerful.

Tips for women considering a BDSM gigolo

1. Choose consciously
Look for experience, specialisation in BDSM and clear communication

2. Ask for references or reviews

3. Ask all your questions beforehand
How does it work, how long does it last, what happens afterwards?

4. Discuss your doubts
A good gigolo will not judge you, but reassure you

5. Arrange aftercare
Physical and emotional (ask about this beforehand)

6. Trust your feelings
If it doesn't feel right, say no. But if it does feel right... allow yourself to explore.

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text: Mistress Moriah
Illustration: 123rf.com