Meet Tom Verhoeven of BDSM radio

"Meet Tom Verhoeven of BDSM radio" was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

Within BDSM land, BDSM radio is of course a household name. But because not everyone has found the right frequency yet, here is an interview with Tom Verhoeven: the sub who twiddles the knobs and strings the kinky music together with BDSM trivia. Not familiar with it yet? Feel free to surf by the site some time and let yourself be surprised.

Who is Tom Verhoeven?

Tom Verhoeven is of course not my real name. It is a name I used as a teenage radio pirate, now 44 years ago. That name has always stuck, because fortunately there are an awful lot of Tom Verhoevens in the Netherlands. For the rest, I am a 59-year-old man like any other, the kind you find a dozen to the dozen, and nobody suspects at first glance that I have a kinky edge.

I have a vanilla wife I have been with for 39 years and I have 2 children (a son and a daughter) who have (sometimes partly) left our nest. Until 8 years ago I worked for 27 years for the railways as a senior conductor, and in my eyes that was one of the best jobs I ever had.

However, after 2017 my health started playing up so much that working was no longer possible, to my great sorrow. Diabetes, heart attacks, polyneuropathy (dying nerves in hands and feet) plus a load of other ailments made working impossible. Despite that, the glass is always half full, with the tap left running to keep it that way.

As a result, my BDSM life and my BDSM radio life have unfortunately also collapsed quite a bit. But well, that's life. Being beaten with the belts you have.

Can you tell us a bit more about your BDSM experience?

My BDSM experience began unnoticed, as soon as my little grey cells started working in my toddler years.

I got aroused and felt the adrenaline race through my body when I was tied up or locked up. Later in life, fantasies were added of being handled naked. I was rather ashamed of that fantasy, because I went to a Catholic school in Uitgeest next to the church, with schoolmasters who made the Pope look pale in their piety. In my puberty I came across sex magazines.

They contained contact ads from SM-ers. On the one hand I found that very exciting, but on the other hand scary. SM was described at that time as sadomasochism. In dictionaries it was described as a morbid tendency to torment others or a morbid tendency to be tormented. But the blood crept where it could not go, and I read every book on sadomasochism that could be found in the library and still came to the conclusion that the soup was not as hot as in the dictionaries, and decided to place an ad in the then popular sex magazines. When replies came in by post, my father had already read them. So he was furious.

Besides, they were all commercial replies, so unaffordable for a spotty teenager of 18.

06 lines

Then came the 06 lines. I was living with my partner by then, and I was determined to experience it in whatever form. Through that 06 line I got in touch with Angela. Her fantasy was to deliver herself blindfolded to me in her flat. It ended up being one of the best dates I have had as a budding BDSM'er.

After that it stayed quiet for a while, due to guilt towards my wife. Until a friend of mine wanted to start a steel construction company and was looking for work. That is how the website de-kooi-bdsm.nl came about in 1999. With the profit from that, equipment for BDSM radio was bought, and so my life as a real BDSM'er and DJ began to take shape.

Passion for radio

Just like the BDSM feeling that I developed in my toddler years, I also had a passion for radio as a toddler. I didn't want to sing nursery rhymes at school but songs from the radio (Veronica as a pirate ship back then). So at 15^e, inspired by uncles who were FM pirates, I started building a radio transmitter at 15^e and broadcasting with friends. We got a lot of criticism because we didn't play sentimental schlager songs, as pirates used to do then and now. In 1987 I did my first broadcast with the theme of sadomasochism. So that was actually the early birth of BDSM radio.

In 2003 it took on firmer forms via streaming platforms in the US. But the sound was agonisingly bad because of the low speed of the internet. In 2004 it began to take shape with interviews and later BDSM news from the papers and media. In that time, staff came and went, mainly from the Netherlands and some from abroad. With Malaika as the sad low point. She did a music programme three times and then died of the consequences of diabetes. At the moment I present alone and I am also going to slow down a notch because of my health and the opposition that the word BDSM alone provokes from authorities.

How did you come up with the idea of BDSM radio?

The early idea was already there secretly in 1987, and when I had BDSM cages and toys in my little business I was already thinking about how you could make online radio. That is how the first BDSM radio sounds came about in 2003. To this day it still exists, with fits and starts.

What do you run into? Is society cooperating a bit?

The costs are quite a thing. Your equipment doesn't last forever. Websites cost money, and copyright took the biggest bite. In the past I could just about pay those costs with the revenue from the website. Until I was declared unfit for work and even that passive income was no longer possible. Plus my income dropped by 30%. So I have to cut back on everything. Now the costs are about 1000 euros a year.

Society does not cooperate at all in this area. The first American streamer kicked me off after a number of years because of the word BDSM. After that I found a streamer where I could stream free of charge 24 hours a day, copyright included (Radionomy); this one also discovered the word BDSM after a number of years and chucked the radio off without ceremony. After that I rented a server, but I had to pay a huge amount of Buma and Sena royalties every month and that was no longer possible due to lack of money.

Mixcloud

Now there is Mixcloud, and they have also discovered the word BDSM and, for the time being, no longer allow live broadcasts because it is supposedly too offensive. In short, enough to make you tired. It seems as if the world has become more prudish since the arrival of the woke era. After all, we use words like slave, Master and Mistress. Words that, given the era of slavery, have become red flags. The LGBTIQ+ community also seems to be going along with that, as BDSM apparently no longer exists in their little dictionary.

Which target group do you aim at? Beginners or the die-hards?

I aim at everyone who has BDSM tingles, from inexperienced beginner to the most advanced. Plus the taboos that exist among BDSM'ers, such as BDSM purists who feel, for example, that sex and BDSM do not go together, or that certain fetishes do not belong, despite the roleplay pattern in them.

Personally I think BDSM does not involve a claimed title or protocol. It is just what partners call it among themselves. If one partner may say how he/she/they want the vanilla sex and the other wishes to follow that, and together they call it BDSM, then they have my blessing. As long as they enjoy it and have fun. As long as it is not unwanted coercion.

Do you feel you get enough appreciation from the scene?

That is a strange interplay. At fairs and play parties I notice there is enormous appreciation and recognition. But if you look online or during live broadcasts, the reactions are very sparse. Is it a fear of responding? Are people so deep in the closet that they don't dare?

I do often get messages from men who think I can just arrange a free Mistress for them. I have to disappoint them, because they are not lying on my shelf desperately waiting for a sub, sometimes with a wish list from here to Tokyo.

On the other hand, in the past I have had lovely play contacts/relationships through BDSM radio. They have just faded because of my health ailments and having trouble with longer drives. So ladies with a BDSM mind around Heemskerk! If you want me, give a shout?

Has there been a great highlight over the past few years?

Personal BDSM highlights are almost countless over the years. If I name one, I would do the others an injustice. That too was sometimes a fun side effect of BDSM Radio. I go into interviews, and always did, with the idea that nobody would play with me. But it happened quite often that the chemistry was so mutual that I gladly let a Mistress take me in hand.

For instance there was and is a Mistress Moriah who thought it was fun to turn my little genitals into a sausage with hot tabasco sauce. Or after an interview with Ingrid of Waxfun.nl. She thought it was fun to wax me in a subby way. I am still fighting with the video editing of that.

How can my visitors listen to BDSM radio? Where can you be found?

Via Mixcloud.com/BDSMradioEU/ broadcasts can still be listened back to, as long as this company doesn't throw them off.

On BDSMradio.EU you can find all the news about the radio and the BDSM news from papers and media.

On Fetlife BDSMradio or my personal profile there (who knows, maybe a PM will pop in there one day from a nice potential BDSM play girlfriend from the Heemskerk area).

Do you have a nice message you would like to give my visitors?

Live out your fantasy and enjoy it intensely. Still searching? Visit munches, BDSM play meetings, and don't stay behind your smartphone (mobile television). If those steps go too far, visit a good professional BDSM'er m/f/x such as Mistress Moriah to let your naughty BDSM fantasy come out.

Finally, I wish everyone plenty of health, happiness and kinky pleasure.

Mistress Moriah

Extra information

What is BDSM?
BDSM terms and explanations

Source

Text & photography: Mistress Moriah