The most commonly used BDSM toys for beginners

"The most commonly used BDSM toys for beginners" was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

Whether you start out with BDSM consciously or unconsciously, in this blog I'm going to talk about the most commonly used BDSM toys for beginners. Toys you can just as well use when you have no idea what you're doing, but you use them simply because it's so much fun. A small example: in my younger years I always tied up my flings, with a blindfold over their eyes so they couldn't see anything either. I used anything that was even remotely suitable for this. And I did the torturing simply with my mouth (biting, nibbling, spitting) and hands (pinching, slapping, scratching).

Yes, sorry, but back then I had never heard of the term BDSM (yes, duh... in my younger years there was no Google yet, that's how old I am), but I just did this because I enjoyed it. And apparently my flings did too, because I never heard them complain.

Is that BDSM too?

When I sometimes talk to beginners and I mention blindfolds, buttplugs and little clamps, I sometimes hear astonished exclamations like: "Oh really? Is that BDSM too?" Some people think BDSM is only about welts, beating until you bleed, standing on someone's balls with stiletto heels or hanging someone from meat hooks. But of course that's utter, total nonsense! There is so much fun and innocent entertainment! BDSM can just as well be soft and tender. Just think of the game tease and denial. That's not about pain at all. And tying up my flings back then didn't have much to do with experiencing pain either. Well, those torture games with mouth and hands, maybe a little...

1. Blindfold

So let's start right away with the first one, the blindfold. A blindfold is perhaps the simplest, but most effective tool for stimulating your senses. Perfect for beginners. By taking away sight, other senses are heightened, which can lead to more intense experiences. It also builds an atmosphere of trust and surrender between partners. The best part? You don't need any fancy equipment.

I really didn't start off straight away with a heavy-duty BDSM mask on my flings either. I just had a few scarves lying next to my bed and I tied those around their eyes. Simple and effective. But you can just as well use your underpants, a tea towel or whatever you happen to have lying around. In the end, what matters is that he can't see anything any more, and what you use to do that doesn't matter.

2. Handcuffs

For those who are curious about the feeling of surrender or control, handcuffs are a natural next step. They range from soft, fur-lined cuffs to more robust leather versions. It is essential to choose cuffs that are comfortable and easy to undo, especially for beginners. But before you go and buy expensive leather cuffs, scarves work perfectly well too. Or tights/stockings. In the end it has the same function, namely preventing someone from running away. And it all works just as well. When using tights, do make sure you don't put them too tight around the wrists. They are stretchy, and the idea is not to cut off the circulation.

3. A gag in your mouth

Stop someone from screaming the whole neighbourhood together? Long live the gag. Here too you can make choices. Of course there are all kinds of heavy-duty gags in all sorts of materials, but stuffing a pair of underpants in his mouth works perfectly well too! Or a piece of duct tape? It looks a bit less intense than shoving a metal bit in there, or one of those ball gags that makes you drool enormously. But the result is the same: not much sound comes out any more.

4. Clamps

Nipple clamps can be an exciting addition. They range from simple, adjustable clamps to more advanced designs with vibration and even electro. It is important to start with light pressure and slowly build up the intensity, always listening to the body and its limits.

Are special nipple clamps a bridge too far? Then the bag of clothes pegs next to the washing machine can be an excellent solution. Those things are hanging there uselessly anyway, because you probably shove most of your washing in the tumble dryer. So the pegs can perfectly well be used for other purposes.

5. Something to hit with

Spanking has gained popularity in recent years. As sexologist Amy Williams notes, within a trusting relationship spanking can deepen the bond between partners. Do make the most of it. For beginners, soft floggers or paddles with a smooth surface are ideal for experimenting. Start slowly and talk openly with each other about what feels good.

Don't feel like buying something specially for this? You can of course use your hands too. Or what about a slipper (and those are quite fierce!). And take a look in the kitchen drawer, maybe there's still a wooden spatula or ladle in there! You can hand out smacks perfectly well with those too. In the end, the hand holding it determines how hard the hitting is... Hitting softly is a perfectly good option too, by the way.

6. Onion chopper or pizza wheel

If you're already searching the kitchen drawer for a wooden spatula, check straight away whether there's an onion chopper in there. Because you can use it to gently stroke over someone's body perfectly. You can compare it to a broad version of a pinwheel or Wheel of pain, as they are called in BDSM terms. Especially if someone has a blindfold over their eyes, you can challenge them perfectly with it. Alternated with soft caresses...

7. Vibrators

Don't forget the vibrating devices either, such as vibrators, magic wands, vibrating eggs or whatever fun toys you happen to have at home. Receiving while tied up, "forced", gives a completely different dimension to the intensity of the experience. Forced orgasms, or precisely a ban on them... they are all aspects of a BDSM experience. Sounds like great fun and not intense at all, right?

BDSM toys

And if you do want to go a step further, these are the perfect "first BDSM toys":

• Paddle (leather or wood)

• Whip (flogger, riding crop)

• Cane (rattan)

• Rope

• Cuffs (wrist and ankle)

• Mask

• Clamps

For those who can't choose, starter sets offer a variety of toys to experiment with. These kits often contain a combination of blindfolds, cuffs, small floggers and other accessories. They are designed to offer a safe and fun introduction to different aspects of BDSM, without spending a fortune straight away.

Not intense

So it doesn't all have to be that intense; you can start BDSM at a low threshold and build up calmly. It's not a competition to reach a certain point as quickly as possible either. In the end it's about the journey you make together, not the end goal. Enjoy the intensity and the love. And yes, even the soft caresses of a little feather fall under the heading of BDSM. Because BDSM really isn't just about hard, harder, hardest. It's more: nice, nicer, nicest.

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text: Mistress Moriah
Photography: 123rf.com