The intrinsic value of a Journal

“The intrinsic value of a Journal“ was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

It had been a few weeks since sub T had last been with me. Sometimes circumstances make it difficult to arrange a meeting, or in this case even impossible. That is part of it too. Incidentally, it says nothing about the intensity of the desire. In the weeks in between, we certainly kept in touch via pixels. But today he was here again. If he was any more nervous than usual, I didn't notice much of it.

My Book

As always, I first read his "My Book" or Journal, as he once named his little book. Whether the M in this case stands for Mistress, Moriah or My, I have never asked. The B stands for Book, in any case. He received this little book - empty at the time - from me at his second appointment, with the intention that he would write in it the things that occupy him, such as emotions, things he discovers about himself or whatever is on his mind. But also notes that I tell him to make, penalty points he has to keep track of in it, fantasies that arouse him, or questions he would like to ask me. You can see it as a kind of diary, but one that you don't keep just for yourself. A little book that keeps track of exactly the route we travel together. At every meeting I read the newly written pages.

Beautiful conversations

It always leads to beautiful conversations, from both sides. It is a lovely, loving start to the BDSM experience that follows. It offers an honest glimpse into each other's heads, so the experience can begin more intensely right away. Even when a few weeks have passed in between. You pick the thread straight back up, as it were. For me, this MB is also a memory aid, because it contains things I said over time and have forgotten again. After all, I can't remember everything.

In this case, in his MB I read a list of "secret fantasies", which he had to write down for me at some point in the past few weeks. These are mostly fantasies that still need to find a place of acceptance (within him). The top ten list had been neatly filled in, but for one fantasy there were no words, only dots. That triggered me. Because what could this fantasy be? What is so intense that you can't write it in your MB? But sub T kept his lips tightly sealed. Fine. "Go and undress, then." And I thought to myself: "Those dots are going to become letters, today."

Naked for me

Once he is naked in front of me, I decide to first fasten his hands behind his back with wrist cuffs. That way I know for sure I have free rein. I take a waterproof marker and write exactly the right number of dots on his torso. A word of four dots and a word of seven dots. And then the alternative game of hangman can begin. First I ask very sweetly whether he would like to give me the letters. Sub T stays silent. Fine, then I'll simply add something extra.

I put on the very meanest clamps I own, the crocodile clamps (a kind of fierce battery clamps), on his nipples and on his scrotum. Especially with the latter I know he finds it intense. Call it unbearable, if you like. But for every correct letter, one clamp comes off. So I name different letters one by one, just like in Hangman. Is a letter correct? Then a clamp may come off. Is it wrong? Then I slowly draw a gallows on his belly.

Step by step

Sub T gives in step by step… He makes a mistake here and there because of the pain, forgets to mention a double letter again, so a clamp is put back on, but driven by pain, he gives more and more insight into the words that are supposed to be there. In the end I see what it says… "High Boots".

I smile. "How lovely! That means we'll be going shopping together soon, because I'd really like to be there! Maybe we can combine it with that other fantasy of yours, "carrying out a seemingly impossible task", because then I'll take you on a leash to that shoe shop!"

Sub T laughs and mumbles something like: "Yes, that would be something…" But I can read the silent words in his eyes: "That will NEVER happen".

Never say never, little sub, because there will come a moment when you write in your MB the words: "Today I went to Silhouet with Mistress Moriah…"

Interested in a Journal for your sub?

Are you also interested in providing your sub with a "Journal" or "My Book"? You can get one in the shop!

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text: Mrs Moriah
Image: 123rf.com