What is the proper way to approach a Mistress?
“How do you properly approach a Mistress?” was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.
I regularly (read: daily) receive messages from subs and slaves looking to get in touch. They’re searching for a Mistress, perhaps want to know more about the possibilities, or have a burning question. However, I’ve noticed that many subs could use some improvement when it comes to that initial introduction. Because a message that starts with “Hey…” or “Sweetie” doesn’t invite me to give a serious response. If you seriously want a Mistress’s attention, you approach her with respect. She is not your cousin or the neighbor. To help you get started, here’s this blog: How to Approach a Mistress.
How to Approach a Mistress
The First Impression
Your opening line makes a first impression and determines whether or not she’ll want to read on. If it’s not good (hey, hi, hello, etc.), then it doesn’t really matter what else you have to say—there’s a good chance your message will end up in the digital trash can right away. If you seriously want a response, start your message in a proper, respectful way.
For example:
Dear Mistress/Domina/Goddess,/Madam/Lady/Princess
Dear Mistress/Domina/Goddess,/Madam/Lady/Princess
Good morning/afternoon/evening/day, Mistress/Domina/Goddess,/Madam/Lady/Princess
The absolute don’ts
Avoid unnecessary fawning
What personally irritates me immensely are messages in which just about every sentence ends with “Mistress…”. For example:
Good morning, Mistress Moriah,
Did you sleep well, Mistress Moriah? What are your plans for today, Mistress Moriah? Did you have a nice day yesterday, Mistress Moriah?
Messages like these really get under my skin. And if they get under my skin, they get under the skin of a lot of Mistresses. These kinds of messages strongly give me the feeling that the writer is mainly getting turned on while writing the message and feels a tingle in his cock with every “Mistress.” That’s fine if that’s how you experience it, but don’t bother me (and many others) with it. So please leave all that excessive fanboyism out of it. Messages like this go straight into my digital trash can.
You are not the protagonist
You approach a Mistress because you apparently want something from her. So you are not the protagonist—she is. This means that not a single sentence should begin with “I.” And especially not with the words: “I want…” Because you have no right to want anything. You’re not approaching the greengrocer to buy a cucumber and a carrot, nor the butcher for a liver sausage; you’re approaching a Mistress from whom you’d very much like to receive attention. But whether she gives it to you is up to her. So you have nothing to want. If you don’t understand that, don’t approach her, because then you have no business with her and still have a lot to learn.
Grammar & Typos
Not everyone has a knack for language, and that’s okay. But it is nice if you try to avoid language and typos as much as possible. A message riddled with language errors comes across as incredibly sloppy and therefore disrespectful. It shows in every way that you haven’t taken the trouble to put any real effort into it. And if you don’t do this yourself, how can you expect it from the other person?
Of course, a typo can always happen, and yes, you might miss it even after reading it 10 times, but that will definitely be forgiven. However, there shouldn’t be dozens of them (and yes, that does happen). I, as a Mistress, don’t feel taken seriously then. So please take the time to read through your message a few times, or if necessary, have ChatCPT take a quick look to catch the mistakes before you send it. Small effort, big result.
The other person owes you NOTHING!
I regularly receive messages where the other person feels they are “entitled” to all sorts of things. Or rather, “thinks they are entitled.” They see themselves as “God’s gift, made in Heaven” and the Mistress should be rubbing her hands together in delight that she’s being offered this “wonderful gift.” She can do anything to you! You’re giving her your body! How could she possibly refuse!
Well, believe me, she can easily refuse. There will be very few Mistresses who get wet down there from your offer. And aside from that, you’re not the only one. She’s inundated with these kinds of “offers she can’t refuse,” because you don’t really think you’re the only one, do you? If she were to respond to every similar message, there would be lines of dripping subs waiting impatiently at her door.
So she has every opportunity to be picky, and rightly so. Because why do you think you have a “right” to her attention, her materials, her space, her experience, and her time? What have you done for her to deserve this? It’s your very first message to her, for crying out loud! What are you really thinking? She owes you NOTHING. So if you want her attention, be humble and grateful for every drop. And if you do it right and invest in her, that drop will naturally turn into a puddle and maybe eventually a sea of attention. Because you’re investing in each other! It can never be a one-way street.
Get to know the other person!
I often receive a message that immediately gives me the impression it’s a case of “copy, paste, send.” The kind of message that has been (or could be) sent to at least 10 (and that’s probably a very optimistic estimate) Mistresses, without a single personal word. There’s nothing in it that lets me figure out why I was specifically chosen. Shooting with buckshot is fine for rabbits, but not for Mistresses. A Mistress wants to be able to tell right from the first message that you’ve taken the time to get to know her, that you’ve looked at her photos and read her words. And you should make this clear in your message. That seems to me to be the very least you can do for her beforehand.
A Mistress is more than just a Mistress
Many subs approach a Mistress simply because she is a Mistress. That’s not illogical in itself, but it really doesn’t have to be so blatantly obvious.
Try to dress it up a bit by first showing genuine interest in her as a person and not putting the Mistress first. After all, she is also a woman and a human being, and it shows much more sincerity if you see her as a whole—rather than just a small part of her.
So how should you approach a Mistress?
Okay, here are the tips on how to maximize your chances of getting an (enthusiastic) response from a Mistress with your message:
- Get to know the Mistress beforehand (look at her photos and read her posts)
- Use the right salutation
- Be polite and respectful
- Make your message personal to her; explain why you’re approaching her specifically
- Avoid spelling and typos (so read your message several times before sending it into cyberspace!)
- Be humble and don’t make demands
- Be realistic: “You can do anything with me” is NOT realistic
- Use some humor and self-deprecation in your message
- Tell her a little about yourself so she can get a sense of who’s behind the pixels
- Consider sending a photo of yourself – after all, you know what she looks like too
- Translate your positive qualities into benefits for the Mistress
- Put your own desires aside; avoid wish lists
- Let her know what you have to offer
- Approach her first and foremost as a woman, as a person (with genuine attention to her every move)
- It might be helpful to “tie yourself up” beforehand, so you can write the message with a clear head (instead of letting “the cock” do the talking)
More information
How can you tell if a professional dominatrix is any good?
Why is a visit to a Mistress so expensive?
An appointment with a Mistress: how do you prepare?
Commercial BDSM – Theme page
Source
Text: Mistress Moriah
Image: 123rf.com
