Where do you draw your creativity from as a Dominant?

"Where do you draw your creativity from as a Dominant?" was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

Recently a Dominant Lady who is a friend of mine approached me. She was struggling a bit with coming up with creative things all the time. She had caught herself in a repetitive session. By that I mean a session or BDSM experience that keeps repeating itself. Whip, rope, clamps. Something like that. The subs were happy, but the Lady in question felt herself becoming more and more dulled, which meant the experiences were actually no longer much fun. Still fun for the sub, but not for her any more. Her question to me was where I draw my creativity from.

The stimulating power of the BDSM dice – let fate decide your play

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Holding the strings

You might think that as a sub you have it easy. You simply have to submit and listen. And of course I'm exaggerating here, because I wouldn't want to swap. Never. But there is of course a small kernel of truth in it. As a Dominant you hold the strings, but that also means you constantly "have to" come up with all sorts of things. And I put "have to" in quotation marks on purpose, because you can also turn it into "get to". I actually love coming up with things. And when I'm out of ideas for a moment, I happily have my feet or my shoulders massaged. You can always make me happy with that! Even for hoooooooooours on end if need be!

Evergreen

But where do I get my creativity from? To a large extent I let the moment decide. I actually never plan much in advance. Yes, a good whipping session always makes me happy, so that's an evergreen for me. It can never last too long for me either. Mind you, it's not that I just stand there hitting one stroke after another; in between I also make time for a bit of fun, some silliness, a gentle caress or a sudden intensive attack on the nipples (or balls). A whipping session like that can easily last an hour. Time flies when you're having fun...

How an experience begins can always vary, though, and depends a little on the conversations beforehand, the moment itself, what mood I'm in, action/reaction. At such a moment I'm open and can go with the flow. If I see a nice opportunity, I take it and run with it. So it can go in any direction. After that my hands actually start to itch and I get to work with whips. Just for fun. But to be honest, this of course also depends on the sub and the interaction we have. I only really enjoy whipping if welts are allowed to appear... otherwise I find whipping rather a bit boring.

Funny twist

Beyond that, I mainly let my feeling lead and do whatever I feel like at that moment. Usually something I then give a creative or funny twist. Usually the time flies by and before we know it a few hours have passed...

But when you sometimes just don't know, there are of course plenty of tools you can use to inspire yourself (or be inspired). For example, I sometimes ask my subs to write a fantasy for me, or how they think something might unfold, or what deep desires they still have. Not because I then immediately act on it, but I do enjoy hearing/reading what is going on in those little heads. And sometimes there's something in there that makes me think: Nice!! It makes the palette of possibilities grow bigger and bigger. Does that make me a Service Dom? Nonsense. In that case I would be getting wish lists full of requests. I don't get those. (They'd better not try, either.)

Chess

I am, however, a supporter of action/reaction, or call it chess or ping-pong if you like. After all, you build a BDSM experience together! So that means the sub can make a move just as well, allowing the Dominant to build on it. Leaning back and receiving benefits nobody and ultimately only leads to a burnt-out Dominant. Because there is nothing so miserable as flogging a dead horse.

Besides the creative little minds of my subs, I also surf Fetlife now and then looking for inspiring photos. Sometimes I come across great ideas there. I save them and then see how I can do something with them myself. For example, a while back I saw someone working with all sorts of chopsticks. It looked so good that I immediately ordered a set of those sticks on TEMU. I love them and by now I do all sorts of things with them.

Femdom parties

Another source of inspiration is of course the (Femdom) parties. You always see some fun twist or playful action there. I remember those too. You never know what it might come in handy for one day.

Toys are also always good inspirers... I get new toys (more than) regularly. Sometimes I get them from my subs, sometimes I get them as review products and sometimes I simply buy them myself. I don't think I can ever have enough toys, because I like tóo much. (My playroom is already too small for my huge collection.)

Another tip: dare to combine! CBT lends itself perfectly to this. You simply start with something and build further from there. Of course, do make sure it stays safe, because I have heard some very unpleasant stories about this too. So keep your head in the game.

The saving jar

And do you really have no idea any more? Then make sure you have "a jar". I once gave my sub and my slave the task of coming up with about 20 playful things each. So silly tasks, daft chores, pain games, et cetera. Sweet, fun, playful, lovely and painful things. I added about thirty more brainwaves of my own. I made cards of all those ideas and so they're "in the jar".

You can optionally add toys, games, props, et cetera. If there's a moment when you really don't know any more, there's "the jar". Just pull something out blindly and you have another hour of fun. The more cards, the more varied it gets. The chance of drawing the same thing week in, week out is minimal... (unless there's only one card in the jar).

Who cares?

And if you really don't know any more and your head isn't giving you any creative impulses, who cares? Then simply go into relax mode and have your sub massage your feet, or your shoulders, neck, arms, legs, or whatever you enjoy. Lock him in a cage, put him away for a while in (cling film) bondage, use him as a footstool, have him start cleaning the floor or even bake a cake if need be. There is so much you can think of that makes you happy!

And that's what it's all about! Don't assume too much about the other person, but look at what makes you happy! Because for that smile, the sub will do anything! And only then is there truly a win/win!

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text: Mistress Moriah
Image: 123rf.com