The most beautiful sub, to me, is a Femdom sub/slave m/f

“The most beautiful sub, to me, is a Femdom sub/slave m/f“ was written for BDSMforyou.nl by Mistress Moriah.

As you undoubtedly know, I am into Femdom. Recently I got a new sub, Folkwin. A humorous, enthusiastic, fun guy, whom I have known for quite a few years but whom I only recently added to my little pigsty. He presented himself on Fetlife as a Masochist. Now, I have known him for a while and I know from experience that he can take a lot, but does “being able to take a lot” really make someone a masochist, or are there other possibilities?

You (informal)/Your (informal)

The more often we were in contact, the more something began to strike me. When he messaged me, he mostly used the informal “je/jou” in messages about pain stimuli (or neutral subjects), but as soon as he started writing about acts of service and caring tasks, he automatically switched to the formal “u/uw”. He did not think about it at all, it just happened by itself.

I also noticed that it was often the dominant, decisive things that made the greatest impression on him. Such as a casual gesture to the floor beside me, where he had to sit and wait his turn to ask a question (while I was talking to another Lady), or the persistence in a pain experience, where “10 more” really does mean “10 more”, however hard he whimpered, moaned, danced (like a frog), cursed or screamed. But there were many more examples like that.

Extremely serious

During our last Femdom dinner, the subs were expected to cook for the ladies. Folkwin took his task extremely seriously and went looking for a tasty recipe, which he cooked in advance at home for his family, to see whether it was suitable to serve. Believe me, a masochist doesn't do that. With a masochist it is mainly about his own experience. Who does do this kind of thing? Femdom subs. Subs who do “everything” (or at least “a great deal”) for the Lady's smile. They serve, care, toil, endure and suffer for Her.

So after a few weeks I said to Folkwin: I want you to change your status (Masochist) on Fetlife to Femdom sub. Because that was what I saw in him: a beautiful Femdom sub. With just “masochist” he sells himself short, and I think that is a waste. Folkwin is far more focused on the other person (the Lady) than the average masochist. Of course he got straight to work, but… soon came back empty-handed. “It's not in Fet's role list…” So he couldn't choose it. My answer: “Then you will email them and request this addition.”

Possible additions

By now he has done so, and he received the first reply (summarised): “We have put it on the list of possible additions, we will get back to you…” Of course Femdom sub belongs on the list; I find it bizarre that, alongside the dozens of other options (the list is really very long), this label is not (yet?) included. But I am still not entirely convinced, because Femdom turns out to still be a thing for some men…

VSSM

Take the VSSM, for example, a men's club through and through. They never do anything with or for Femdom, there is not a single dominant woman on the board (incidentally, I offered myself years ago), and when I write a seriously good, informative book (even if I say so myself), “How do I become a Mistress” (pure promotion of the deeper layers of BDSM and solid play explanations), I have been kept on a string for months with a “we will look into it”. They will never pay it any attention, though. And I am not the only one with that impression; many people see it that way.

I regularly get the reaction: “The VSSM? Hahaha, they only do something if you…” Well, I won't repeat the rest. Let's just say they don't have much time for dominant women. I had of course realised that much longer ago, which is why I started the site Femdom-Lifestyle. Someone has to promote Femdom if they won't.

What is a Femdom sub?

But back to the Femdom sub. I came up with that term years ago, when I took my first steps within BDSM and had dozens or perhaps even hundreds of conversations with all kinds of slaves, because I wanted so badly to understand things. The “Femdom sub” (as I called this group of slaves) clearly stood out to me. It is the group of slaves who above all want to please the Lady, in every possible area.

Not only in receiving pain stimuli, but also in service, helpfulness, sexuality (chastity if need be), humiliation, et cetera. “Everything” for the smile of the Dominant Lady. Her eyes and smile take him where She wants him… Her power and steadfastness give him a feeling of safety, so that She only has to pull the strings gently to get him moving.

One step harder

For Her he is willing to go that extra step harder, for Her he is willing to take those extra strokes because he knows She enjoys it, for Her he is willing to… name it. For Her… and of course he gets something out of it himself too! BDSM is reciprocal, an ultimate symbiosis of opposing interests. If he got nothing out of it for himself, he would really throw in the towel and walk away. No human being is capable of altruism (although opinions are divided on that). A Femdom sub loves “toiling” for Her…

She strikes with a broad smile

And She? She is not that bitch you see in cheap porn BDSM clips. She is a Dominant lady with a sadistic edge, but also full of empathy, warmth and love. She lays the welts across your back with a broad smile and sparkling eyes, and enjoys both the cracks of the whip and the sub's moaning. She laughs at his erratic movements as he tries to absorb the pain, She enjoys resting Her tired legs on his back or snapping Her fingers because She would like a drink brought to Her.

But She is also the one who strokes gently over the welts, who cares for his being, who gives a cuddle afterwards that shows how proud of him She is and how happy. She lets him transcend himself, higher than he has ever been able to get. She gives him wings to fly, beyond the moon and stars… because She is She.

And it is precisely that ultimate combination that makes him want to do “everything” for Her. Just that one step further… so that together you keep getting further. And “he” can just as easily be a “she”, like my wonderful slave girl.

Will you join in?

If you want to support our lobby, as a Femdom sub, Femdom lady, or simply because you feel this special “role” should not be missing, then send a message to Fetlife too, asking them to add this wonderful label to the existing “Role list”. How great would it be if we could soon simply choose it, and in doing so gain a little recognition again for our whole being.

Mistress Moriah

Source

Text: Mrs Moriah
Image: BDSMforyou